From the abyss

Greetings everyone!

I don’t really know where I should start my story. I would have a lot to say. First of all, this time isn’t going to be the first one when I try to prevail in this game... I have a screwed up marriage behind me and now I want to build something useful for myself along which I can forget about the whole shitstorm I had to go thorough. I already have realised by now I shouldn’t have married a woman who has a schizoaffective mental disorder, saying I can handle this. Cause I had to be a freaking wizard to achieve this mission objective of mine... Should have noticed the signs before I made the decision to make children with her. It’s like a very difficult and marginal postflop situation. I felt that something is already wrong. I knew that. I should have fold the whole case while I still could do that, knowing there is another one coming for me soon enough. But I took my chances anyway. Why? It might be human nature or just the power of love. Sometimes we know that we are wrong for sure before we make our decision but we do it anyway. It’s a grasp of our actual emotions. Chemistry in our brain. Rational decisions can be easily overwritten by our feelings. And there are always consequences we have to face. Some people can learn that lesson from the very first mistake, some need a few more to achieve that, some never learn. We are humans after all. But I don’t want to belong to the last part. Poker is quite similar and can be so merciless regarding such cases. To recover and fill the time in which I would be thinking about my recent past over and over again I choose to learn and play tournaments in this game. But I need some help how to start it. Which poker room I should choose and where to start learning to be a successful MTT player. I want to make it a challenge for me to get my self-confidence back and build a profitable profession for myself. I have great visions which are waiting to be real. So any advice is welcome here.