gotta keep playing and keep my chin up.
Read a few pages of the poker mindset and it really help me remember how much variance there is in poker, and that I should not allow individual results to affect me dramatically.
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I don't really know what to say.. I played 11 games today which is smaller than my usual volume input, but the trend has been the same since Sunday. My all-in EV is in the plus zone, my non-showndown is about breakeven, and my netwon +showdown are both in the negative.
Made some ICM mistakes on the bubble because I got frustrated from two endgame SNGS where I got got it in good and ended up getting sucked out on.
Going to take 1/2 hour break and watch some Dave Chappelle to get some of that negative energy out of my system. I'll come back and put in another 12 games and see where I am after that.
I'll post an update in 2 hours.
Take Care,
MB
Played 34 games today and I'm going to take another 30 minute break and put in another 6 games to finish at the 40 mark.
So far I'm -$8.24 this session which is a little under 6 buy-ins.
I'm going to continue playing until my bankroll is at 0. I had to withdraw some money to pay for an expense so as of right now I only have 16 Buy-ins.
There was this player who lucked out on me 3 times over two tables and I got so damn pissed off that I called an all-in with q5s during the bubble. I paid a lot in ICM tax, but I was ahead against his J4o which hit two pair on the flop.
Maybe I should take a day off? (it's Friday morning), since I'm so negative right now that it really is affecting my game. I'm not playing with the same amount of confidence that I used to. Feeling pretty pessimistic.......
Meh we'll see.
Best Poker blog title... EVER 
May i do a small suggestion? dont look at your profit in the middle of a session. You told us yourself that you tilt when things aren't going good so why would you look at your money if you are still playing? I play 45man sng and a lot of times im losing almost my entire session, only my last games save my day so, what i mean is: "there is no point in looking at your money in the middle of the game".
I have a tight bankroll management so there are even days that i don't look at my cashier or the graphs in pokertracker because nothing good will come of it.
Keep strong, do a good bankroll managment and force yourself to understand that badbeats are part of the game and its better to get used to them while playing micro games than high stakes 
Thanks, the worst I've ever run was 200 games which was awhile back.
I just gotta keep playing and put in a ton of volume the next 4 days and hopefully things turn around.
This is officially the worst I've ever run in my life. If I wern't a profitable poker player then my graph wouldn't be going upwards, but these past few days it just keeps getting worst and worst.
And I'm not exaggerating either. For example, I was on the bubble and SB raised all in for 5bb effective. I had k8s and I called, villain shows 72s and catches a deuce on the flop and it holds up.
I know I should play for the long term, but all these damn losing sessions is frustrating me to the point where I just lose all confidence in myself.
At this rate, I'll be pretty much breakeven for my stake level over 1200 games.
Yet I still don't want to give up. I've been hit and beaten down like this before and I've lost more than this yet I still came back with so much motivation to become better because I wanted to prove something to myself.
I made a promise to myself 2 years ago and I am trying to keep that promise because nothing hurts me more than breaking a promise I made to myself.
I'm just so negative right now and I just feel so damn emotional because I feel like my goal is slipping further and further away from my grasps.
as of right now my bankroll is at a measly $10.00 from $120.00. I had to withdraw 50 to help pay for something so in total I lost 60 dollars which is 40 buy-ins at the $1.50 level. THAT'S SO DAMN SICK!!
I'M NOT QUITTING, I REFUSE TO QUIT. I just don't think I'll ever forgive myself for quitting when things don't go my way. I believe there is a place for me in the poker world and I'm sick of being a loser.
FYI, I'm just writing all these stuff down just in case 3 years from now or something I become some good respectable poker player, I can reflect back on my struggles and see how far I've come.
I also withdrew 40 dollars from 888 and will depositing that into PS within the next few days.
Take Care,
MB
Keep in mind, that downswings is where u get better, where upswings only prepare u to get better. The longer the downswings last, the more u have to evaluate where the chips goes, and then figure out if ppl have reads on u, or it just is as simple as variance. Variance is often the best excuse to not get better.
Its kinda simple, still play although u are in a "downswing", but make the study/play ratio diff.
ED: when i moved my br to another place after crushing the small site, i had a downswing of 500 sngs. Or rather, 500 was what it had to take to get to even, after that i crushed again. Now again after moving br again, same story all over. Just remember that the upswing could be the reason u fell like u are in a downswing. Because u are "too good, and dont need to improve as much anymore" which are the biggest fail you can do. Just because you have a good day, doesnt mean you dont have to improve.
Good luck
Originally posted by martinemem
Its kinda simple, still play although u are in a "downswing", but make the study/play ratio diff.
Good luck
♠_thumbsup:
Hello,
I haven't posted in about a week I think? Well I decided to make the switch to 9 man STTs, and my goal for the next 2 months is to put in a lot of volume and make the <$2.00 leaderboard on sharkscope.
The top 20 is $292+ which isn't a lot in my opinion so achieving it won't be much of a problem. I was a 9 man STT player before I moved to 6 max so the structure isn't something new to me.
I have Collin Moshman's book about SNGs and I've been reading that and incorporating a lot of its content into my game. I'm multi-tabling about 8-9 games simultaneously which is good for me volume wise.
I also started playing Knockout SNGs too and my god are they really fishy! I think there's more fishes in the knockout sngs than the turbos!
Anyways, my bankroll is pretty healthy now. I have 67 buy-ins for my level so there's enough room to take hits from losing sessions.
That;s all I gotta say for the time being. I was just so damn frustrated that I lost 40 buy-ins, but I've let go of that and I'm ready to move on and pursue my goals.
Take care and thanks for viewing my blog,
Maythany
And thanks for the support during my tough time everyone! I really appreciate the courtesy :).
I'm sort of embarrassed of how I acted during my tough times. Losing 10 - 12 buy-ins is my threshold and anything more than that just irritates me.
To be honest, it was probably 50/50 in terms of running bad and playing bad. I had to swallow my pride and acknowledge that it wasn't just running bad that was the only factor in my large loss.
So tomorrow will be Saturday. I work until noon and won't be home by 1 p.m. and I'm going to need about an hour to get into the right mindset for poker.
My goal for Saturday: 100 $1.50 SNGS
1) 2 sets: 9 x 2 = 18 (incomplete)
18 = 1:30 hours
Break: 15 min
2) 2 sets: 9x2 = 18 (incomplete)
Break: 30 min
3) 2 sets: 9x2 = 18 (incomplete)
break:15 min
4) 2 sets: 9x2 = 18 (incomplete)
break: 30 min
5) 2 sets:9x2 = 18 (incomplete)
Break: 15 min
6) 2 sets: 5x2 = 10 (incomplete)
This will be double my daily volime (I did 50/day starting on Wednesday).
Good Night and Take Care!
Maythany
got myself icm trainer and will be doing some training on that program.
The games have been very swingy lately especially the KO games which is a given because of the bounty on everyone's head.
It's still too early to conclude anything since I only got 300 games down and at a small profit.
Take Care,
MB
Hello,
Not much to say other than I'm adding fifty50 into my game now.
9 man STTs are going fine and will post a graph at the 1k mark.
I am multi-tabling 10 tables now for the 9 man stts and 12 tables for fifty50's.
Hello,
I was able to recuperate from my large downswing and I'm on my way upwards again. I'm not happy with how I reacted and handled the situation when I was doing through that downswing.
Hey! You can only handle so much before you break and I'm trying my best to think long-term. I have to keep reminding myself that my wins aren't entirely based on luck and I am definitely capable to beating the $1.50s, and even the $3.50s.
Standard ABC is good for microstakes sngs, but in my opinion, deviating from that and exploiting your opponent's weaknesses is essential too rather than just playing your cards.
I know I'm capable of beating these $1.50 games and the next downswing that occurs (whenever it happens), I will try my very best to let myself know that I am a winning poker player and individual results should not matter as much as the end result.
When I hit the $3.50 (next month), I'll be looking for a coach to further develop my game and if Tim64 has experience in these 9 man sng games then he will be my first pick.
I am also adding in hyper turbo full ring games and playing 15 tables simultaneously now.
Take Care!
Maythany
hELLO,
I didn't play any games today, but I have been watching a lot of sng videos by Moshman and Unam. A lot of interesting stuff and plays I thought were incorrect turned out to be good based on what I saw in the video.
For example, I thought pushing j4o for 6bb effective in the sb was a mistake when villain called wide, but it turns out it wasn't a bad spot at all.
Watching these videos gave me a new confidence to my game and I am playing a lot looser these days than I used to.
When I started playing 9 man sngs this year I was 10/09 LOL! A complete nit and I couldn't adjust properly when I became short stacked near the bubble.
Now I'm more aware of how to play these 9 man sngs better and I expect my ROI to be increaseconsidering my 1st place finishes will be more than my 3rd and second place finishes. I've been finishing 2nd and 3rd more than 1st before and now that I'm more aware of how to make money from 9 man sngs, this will be changing.
Thanks,
Maythany
Hello,
I have one weird sleeping pattern and hopefully, by staying up all night I can reset my sleep schedule and get back to sleeping correctly.
Going to be watching some FR sng videos today and finish off my 3-day learning lesson. Tomorrow I will start my grind and I'm pretty confident in my game knowing what I am doing is going to yield me a good ROI.
Take Care,
MB
Played a total of 125 games today! which is the most I have ever played in a single day!
I am very proud of myself for that, and if I keep putting volume in like today then I will make goldstar by the end of the month.
Even though I am down -$27.00, I know I'm a profitable poker player and I just gotta keep telling myself that and continue playing the best I can.
It's funny, I am only down -2.84 from FR turbo sngs, but down $24.00+ from KO FR turbo sngs. I think it's because the players at the ko's are a lot looser because of the bounty so there's a larger swing than the FR turbo sngs.
Even though I am down for the day, I am still pretty confident in my game, and look forward to playing some poker tomorrow!
Take Care,
Maythany
Nice blog and results. In micro games in general being quite nitty is going to show lot of profit as you likely get action anyway. I would think there is quite little space for 3bet bluffs and such. Of course depends on reads. But limping hands that can hit hard and making some iso raises will be good as game tends to be more focused on limps and calls preflop