vonki - The return of the Queen

Originally posted by vonki
I kind of... dont really know how to approach it. I'm trying so hard to find a solution but... Nothing just seems to work. I mean, I know it's just a game, and I know if I play my best it will all come back to me in the end. I know all that, and I mean it's np as long as I'm not playing.

IT'S IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT... that the problem strikes. So it doesnt help to tell me "as long as you make +EV moves it will all even out in the end." It doesnt change my problem. If anyone should have any interesting ideas about how to change that, feel free to tell me.

IMO The real answer is to stop playing as soon as practicable once the feeling manifests. I mean, if you feel yourself tilting, try to control it first of course. If you can't shake the feeling - stop - take a complete break from the computer. Even for a couple of minutes just to clear your head. The real mistake is feeling that way and continue playing.

Slay the tilt monster.. it only wants to eat your chips!

Yes, I agree with you Waiboy. The thing is that I wont always be able to stop even if I want to.

Anyways, prepare yourselfs for a long post.

I would like to start off with thanking TwiceT who in many ways has inspired me to work harder, and try better. I am very greatful for the inspiration and advices.

And now to the point. I have started taking notes of all kinds that I know will be very useful to me. These notes, I shall turn into a "bibel". The key is repitition, so prepare yourselfs for it!

Many of you already know these things (and probably recognize where its from aswell) but IMO this could be very useful stuff to many of you out there. And even if you are aware of all this stuff, like I said repitition is the key. I did modify some stuff to make it suit me.

There shall be more posts later on, but this will be the first one.

Beeing resultorientated = wrong view.
Beeing resultorientated leads to tilt.
Tilt = Any none A-game performance.
Concentrate on the play itself, and not the outcome of the play.
Dont regret a decision that was right, even if the outcome wasnt good.
If you played a hand bad, dont be annoyed all day - just let it go.
"I didnt get ANY good cards AT ALL, and then i FINALLY got pocket kings... - diss that attitude.
Fish, donk... all of those are bad words.
Think of your opponents as tree's on a golfcourse - they are in your way.
Having a big pair, expecting an ace on the flop is just wrong.
Hating anything at all is bad view.
Look at reality as what it is. The river is six of spades, even if we didnt want to see that card it is what it is, period.
There is no room for fear. There is no room for pride. There is no room for disappointment.
Dont ever think you suck at poker.
The decisions that bother us are the ones that matters the least.
Sometimes, both checking and betting is the right decision.
Sometimes you will never find out what was right and what was wrong.
"Poker and sex is just the same, everyone thinks they are better then they really are."
The thought "I am better then them" clouds your evaluationability.
Spend time on working on your C-game.
Know your weakness and your strenght.
What makes something the wrong view, is the lack of right view.

I know its alot but it could be more. Like I said before this stuff could be very useful to many I think. I know it is to me.

xx vonki

i like

Good luck with applying the stuff on your game miss Angelo;)

Originally posted by purplefizz
i like

Nice with some girlish company ♦

I have also made a new rule for myself. Max 1h sessions, then I need to take a break. If it it's 10 mins, 5 mins or 3 hours doesnt matter.

I wont look at my results either until next week. It does affect me to frequently check the results, I am quite sure of that. At least it affects me emotionally ♦

I will however sneakily check how much FTP's I made in one day because I still feel I need some kind of motivation. ♦

Just played a session and it went okayish. The sessions last night werent great, but I do run kind of bad. But like I said, I wont check for results and I dont have to keep an eye on losses either because my roll can take it.

I do feel like I'm gaining more control, and it's awesome!

Oh and btw!

[x] Tickets to Münich booked

February will be AWESOME!

xx vonki

Hmm... after reading other peoples blogs I just really want to check my own results. ♦ Fingers are itchy...

I am really convinced it has a good effect on me not to, so I will simply have to aviod checking. I won't be checking until sunday.

I played a few sessions yesterday following my 1 hr rule, and I think it went quite okay. I mean I'm obviously not playing pure A game right now most of the time but a very decent B game. It's getting better and better.

Another thing that pleases me alot is the fact that I just really want to beat NL25 and move up to NL50. I feel motivated. Maybe a bit too eager, but I dont think so.

I almost overslept this morning... I am sooo tired, couldnt fall asleep last night Luckily we only had school between 8.30 and 12.30 so now I am about to make some lunch and try to force myself away to the gym.

xx vonki

you know i tried not looking at my results before but it was a total:

[x] fail
[x] itchy, itchy fingers
[x] impatient scream building up inside

let us know how u get on with that. ♦

hihihi well.... I kind of had a relapse yesterday.

I have to say it really did make me realize that I went into chasing mode for a while... aka fishymode. So yea, I am now more determined to NOT have a look until sunday when I update on this week.
I can only pray my discipline is better this time ♦

After something like 4-5k hands on NL25... uhm. Well the thing is I'm not running well atm and I have a few problems with my temper still at times. ♦
I know I shouldnt have looked at the result and well, I wont again until sunday. I hope ♦
But on the other hand, I mean even if I am breakeven or even down a buyin or so I am in a learning period so it wouldnt be all that bad anyway.

I tried some Rush poker too but I cant really say I liked it. Doesnt really suit me.

So yea, time to play a session and then hit the gym.

xx vonki

Time to make an update again.

So yea, I am still struggeling with alot of things, and I know I got tons of stuff to work on. But the good part is, I am in a downswing right now and a couple of months back I would have just given up and taken a break from it all because I would feel I can't handle it. But this time its different.

Yes, I'm running bad... Yes I have moments where I feel I want to tare something apart but hey... this time I'm fighting back. I mean unless I find a solution to it, I will have to keep running for the rest of my life and I'm not about to accept that.

I am making progress, even if it's a hard way to walk. I am just happy that I'm not walking it allone.

I also found time and energy to watching some videos, and I intend to keep on learning and fighting intensively until I come out stronger.

Besides from that I've started going to the gym again (like, last years new years resolution or smt? ) and it feels great. It's actually a place where I can take out some aggression too.

As for the FTP's... I'm getting there! Due to some rushpoker sessions I've gotten some extra fast points. Playing in the happy hours helped too.

FTP balance: 3,719 (4,381 to go)

I have found it to be a bit of a motivation, and not a bad one that puts me into chasing mode but more of a reward or comfort. I mean the FTP's will go up even if my results go down ♦

When I've bought the book I will simply start collecting for something new.

Turned into quite a update now, shall just stop here.

Have a nice weekend everyone!

xx vonki

Did you already read this part in Poker Mindset where the author says that when you start at something new, it is inevitable to make mistakes and therefore you will (Or it looks like) run bad/lose & stuff.

When I first started out as BSS, I just said to myself ''Hey dude, you can make mistakes. You can lose money, as long as you learn from it because the next time you are making the same mistake, it is on a higher limit and that's zonde van je geld or in English but surely wrong interpreted: wasting money

Glad to see you improving and I hope you did not improved in being mean to me ♦

- Gerv

Dammit i havent posted here for kinda long time, shame on me.

But you still are my favourite one

Running bad is part of our bussiness. It will keep happenning from time to time. But no for the rest of your life, thats for sure!

Keep trying! keep putting the volume in, the more you play, the more 1k hands will seem to be nothing and your poker adventure will seem more like one big session

And also, keep smiling!

haha yea you havent posted for a while JQ, started to get worried...!

Oh and I havent posted for a while either. I was supposed to make a update on sunday evening, but it got late and I had to get up early. Yesterday I had to study most of the day, so I had no time to either play or update really.

Today I have studied, and shall have to study some more but I can squeeze in some time for an update ♦

That is what my graph on NL25 SH looks so far. Not very impressive, but I mean I havent been playing very impressive either Most of the time I had to struggle and play B or C game and I havent exactly been running hot either. I have trashed away about 2-3 buyins so the hope for the future my friends, isnt all that bad.

Things are looking better, I have way better control of my game and I'm just really growing every time I play. I'm still very excited with poker and I very much look forward to my next sessions.

Until next time!

xx vonki

Aahw you don't want to enlighten your readers about the freerolls + skype talk with me and Anna and z4tz?

haha, I was to tired to make a proper update at all ♦

But yea, that was alot of fun

Okay people. I'm looking for some sweatsession-partners!

I've realized that it's very rewarding for me. It does alot to my game, and I tend to think more about my decisions etc during sweatsessions. I also think it would be a priveledge to get to watch someone else play and hear their thoughts.

So what I need, is a partner (or two) who would be up for a sweatsession every now and then (like once a week maybe?). I would prefer if you play SH, and preferably on a similar level as me, so NL25 or NL50 should do.

If you're interested just drop a line here, send me a message or add me at Skype!

xx vonki

hey Vonki,

i've been lurking ur blog for quite some time. I heard from TT that you are going to visit us in Munich, right?

about the sweetsession, im playing Nl50 with very good wr and ocassionaly i play NL100 but my mindset is still not good enough to endure swings of 500-1000euros over a night so i am still kinda reluctant about nl100.

if you would like to make some sweet session just give me some contact details and ill catch up with u soon.

hey Silent!

Nice to hear from you. And yes, I will be joining in on the fun in Munich aswell, I will be there from wednesday-monday!

Saying "it sounds nice that you have problems with your mindset too" sounds kinda mean, and not really the way I want it to come out... but, I think its "nice" because then it's something that we can work on together apart from just playing.

I suppose you have skype? In that case just add me, my nick is voenki. If you dont have skype then... hmm. I guess msn would do

xx vonki

Hi!
Well, just wanted to mark the blog so I can find it easily, cuz it interests me as I'm a NL25 SH player too. What's your FTP nickname?

Oh and BTW, if you have a decent BR and strong nerves, I recommand playing on ante/deep tables, they are loaded with fishes who have no idea on how to play deep or with antes. I have just seen a push preflop, for 400BB, with AKo...

Or you can find that :
Full Tilt Poker $0.10/$0.25 No Limit Hold'em $0.05 Ante - 2 players - View hand 505834
The Official DeucesCracked.com Hand History Converter

Hero (BTN/SB): $54.35
BB: $52.31

Pre Flop: ($0.45) Hero is BTN/SB with 5 5
Hero raises to $0.75, BB calls $0.50

Flop: ($1.60) 9 3 9 (2 players)
BB checks, Hero bets $1, BB calls $1

Turn: ($3.60) 5 (2 players)
BB checks, Hero bets $2, BB raises to $5, Hero raises to $15, BB calls $10

River: ($33.60) Q (2 players)
BB bets $25, Hero raises to $37.55 all in, BB folds

hey LtoC!

uhm, my ftp nickname is pretty easy to guess ;P I suppose you play there too... guess we might have run into each other a couple of times

Yea I know about the ante tables, but I dont really think they suit me all that good ♦ The part about strong nerves is the part that I lack... for now Maybe it would be suitable for the future, but for now I just want to stick to the normal tables. But thanks for the tip

Sunday is update tiiiiime, I look forward to it.

xx vonki

Quick update.

Played a 11$ tourney on Partypoker and finnished in 4th place, with a nice 350$ prize.
Seems like I should keep playing them MTT's every now and then

I also have 4,943 FTP's which means i only have 3,157 to go before I can order the book.

Havent played any CG today, but I reckon I should have time to squeeze in a session tomorrow. Will also update tomorrow or monday on this week's progress. I mean I havent checked my results myself so I'm quite excited ♦

Until then!

xx vonki