there are 10 kinds of people:
those that understand binary and those that dont
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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
What is red and smells like blue paint?
Spoiler
Red paint.
Whats green and has wheels?
Spoiler
Grass, I lied about the wheels.
What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?
Spoiler
"I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"
And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
Put this in my blog - but it is my favourite at the moment ...
mrsbob told me she was leaving me the other day.
She said, "I'm sick of your obsession with the Transformers".
"But, baby", I replied, "I can change".
Originally posted by trickybob
Put this in my blog - but it is my favourite at the moment ...mrsbob told me she was leaving me the other day.
She said, "I'm sick of your obsession with the Transformers".
"But, baby", I replied, "I can change".
daaam so good ♦ laughing out loud atm ♦
Whats the difference between Spider-Man and Lebron James?
Spider-Man with great power comes with great responsibility.
Lebron James with great talent comes with great teammates.
A lady is golfing and gets stung by a bee.
She goes to the club house and says, "You must do something -- there is a beehive on the course".
The pro asks, "Where did you get stung?"
She replies, "between the first and second hole"
He answers, "Oh, then your stance is too wide"
Originally posted by poker24adik
Whats the difference between Spider-Man and Lebron James?Spider-Man with great power comes with great responsibility.
Lebron James with great talent comes with great teammates.
Thats a good one.
I remember after winning when he goes to the Letterman show the first question Dave asks him was, "Now that you've won and gotten it out of your system, are you ready to go back to Cleveland and play some real ball."
The stock market is like a strapless bra.
Half of the people wonder what holds it up.
The other half hopes it will come down, so that they can take advantage of the opportunities.
Sheriff walks into the saloon and shouts: 'Has anyone seen Brown Paper Joe?' 'There's a reward.'
Saloon Manager: 'Never heard of him, what's he look like?'
Sheriff: 'He wears a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt; brown paper boots; brown paper waistcoat; brown paper trousers and a brown paper jacket.'
Saloon Manager: 'Wtf?' 'So what's he wanted for?'
Sheriff: 'Rustling.'
Originally posted by redskwerl
phil hellmuth
Just read through the whole lot and this one made me laugh the loudest.
Woman goes to her doctor and say "you have to help, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home"
The doctor says "You have Tom Jones syndrome, it's not unusual"
Originally posted by VladimirN
What's the difference between light and hard?You can sleep with a light on.
I read recently that the average man is hard for 2-3 hours per night during sleeping
and that's no joke