Week 18
Another losing week and crappy volume as a result:

Hands: 5,874
Won: -$89.99
Bankroll: $1282.54
It was another of those weeks when nothing seemed to go right. Getting pounded at the tables really takes away motivation to grind long sessions, so I guess this is not the best month for trying to achieve Platinum on Stars. Oh, well, I’ll try it next time.
Meanwhile there were all kinds of wrong happening in holdem, I spent some time more intensely studying mixed formats. I got myself the recent Mixed Games book from Ken Lo and it exceeded all my expectations. This is exactly the kind of book I wanted on Mixed Games. The author breaks down every format to simple concepts and complements it with interesting mathematical stats and simulations, which I haven’t seen before for a couple of games. I'm very excited about all this new material to study and hopefully it will help me improve my mixed formats and crush some games!
As for holdem, this week I'm planning to do an intensive DB analysis and search for bad plays and deviations from my gameplan, which I’m sure there will be plenty of, given the negative tendency of past couple of weeks, but overall I hope that swingy holdem will soon turn around and things will look prettier. Poker can be a daunting thing sometimes, but in the end it all comes to how much do you really love the game, and how much are you willing to endure, because even though things might not look the best right now, all you can do is continue improving your game and enjoy the ride. It will be better.
And here are some thoughts about variance for all of you who are going through rough times:
As successful as you think the greatest players are, part of their greatness comes from the fact that they have braved downswings deeper than almost anyone else. It is a statistical certainty that the longer you play poker, the more likely you will face a downswing of truly titanic proportions.
We are naturally inclined to think of ourselves as poker players in terms of what we’re like when things are going well and we are successful . But how you face those downswings is just as big, if not bigger, a part, of your true capability as a poker player. I say again, how you face your downswings is a vital part of your skill as a poker player.
Being a great poker player isn’t just about capitalizing on upswings, nice graphs, taking shots and moving up. A huge part of the journey of a poker player is how you brave your downswings . It is gritting your teeth, taking punishment, again and again, day after day, and holding fast. Being a great player when you’re winning is not enough.
You must know that it is always possible a storm of variance will hit you, a storm so large, so powerful, so destructive that you will not survive it, so ruthless that it will break you. And someday, if you keep playing poker , you will face that downswing , and it will be one bigger, deeper, and longer than you ever thought possible. This is a statistical certainty. No amount of playing good, or praying, or good karma will protect you from it. It is only a matter of time and chance. The question , then, is this. How strong are you, really? How big of a storm will you be able to weather?
Qureshi, Haseeb. How to Be a Poker Player: The Philosophy of Poker.