Bad Jokes

As I watched a dog chasing its tail
I thought, "Dogs are so easily amused"
Then I realized I was amused by the dog chasing its tail…

What do bees do if they need a ride?

What has 4 legs and an arm?

My favorite word is "drool." It just rolls off the tongue.

Women only call me ugly until they find out my IQ and my income
Then they call me stupid, ugly and broke

Sunny-side up, scrambled, or an omelet? It doesn't matter. They're all eggcellent.

I went to a really emotional wedding the other day.
Even the cake was in tiers.

What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung?

.

How many bugs do you need to rent out an apartment?

.

Someone stole my copy of Microsoft Office and they're gonna pay.

You have my Word.

What's the award for being best dentist?

.

What's green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?

Whoever said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results has obviously never had to reboot a computer.

Wizard parking only!
All others will be toad

What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road"