I've noticed that as well, after a session i'm a bit burned out for the next hour or so, but if I watch a video or read an article just before playing i'm pumped up to play ♦
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Warning: Wall of text to follow with rant about emotions and what not. 
I've done alot of thinking today. Apart from working a bit, that's actually all I have done. And I think there is quite a bit to think about still. Just one of those days when you feel like thinking about pretty much everything going on and analysing it. 
I don't mind though. I like to think. It makes me realize things, that are useful to me
One thing that has been on my mind alot are emotions. Especially since I've been talking a bit lately with someone who is the opposite of me. I am quite (and by quite I actually mean very, but I do feel I am improving in that matter) emotional as where this person is pretty much just thinking logically and hardly ever gets affected by emotions.
As an example I told him I was playing with a huge fish. A while later, he asked me if I had lost my whole bankroll vs him (as a joke ofc). As where I said I had won money from him, but that a stupid reg stole some my money with his 7% preflop ai instead. He asked "KK vs KQ?" and I said "No, AA vs AK". - "Then why is it stupid?". Without really thinking I said "because it was."
He's right. If it's a AA vs AK situation it's not stupid but more standard as where KK vs KQ would be more stupid. It really hit me how the logical and the emotional person think differently here, and what I really want is to be the one thinking strictly logical.
I also had a conversation with someone today, that mentioned I sometimes come across as hard to talk to, and that I sometimes pretend to be a coach (which wasn't quite meant like that, but more that I overdo things sometimes). My immediate reaction was emotional of course, and it felt quite hurtful as I'd never try to make myself seem better than anyone else.
But as I started thinking, and talking to the person about more specific examples, it all turned out to be a big mess. I felt intimidated by the person, and therefor tried to help as much as I could in order to make the person like me. When in fact, the person felt intimidated by me because I always seemed to know what I was talking about etc.
It just shows how much emotions affect me. I know I can be very stubborn at times, and I tend to always want to convince others that my oppinion is better when we disagree on something. Heck, whilst we're at it... I am sometimes caring to much about what other people say about me, I tend to get self-destructive sometimes and I am basically not good at admitting myself defeated. I'd like to think I am awesome and have no flaws, but in fact I have a ton of them.
I tend to obsess about things when I get emotional, be it proving my point, making clear that I feel I've been treated unfair or simply that I disagree with something, or am annoyed with something. I can be very intense sometimes, and rant about things which rationally are not important but that for some reason causes an emotional reaction.
On a positive note, I am aware of all this and willing to work on it. What can I get out of all this? I think it's a very good idea to keep working on my emotions, and I should probably keep talking to this rationally thinking person. It helps me see more and more what my own tendencies are, and how I could (and probably should) react and think instead. It's a very interesting journey.
I'm sorry for the WoT, but it felt pretty good to just write it all down to get some kind of perspective on it. For some reason when I start writing, I can disconnect myself emotionally alot better.
THE END!
nice post 
knowing the problem is half the battle how can we plug leaks if we cant find them?
2 great post Vonk.
so study -> grind = +EV it seem (I need to try defo)
and the second one wow ♠_love:
emotions and decisions don't go well together very true. 
I've noticed it a few times, it makes me feel the same way. We're just trying to help, even though we may be wrong there is not much room for us to breath and our opinion isn't usually considered.
Don't worry too much though I know someone who is a lot worse than you. We should be pretty close but these things drive us apart and we talk a lot less. He is pretty forgetful but clever at the same time. If we have a different opinion or I know he is wrong about something he will never back down and admit it. I end up just walking away and being put on life tilt. I will try to get some evidence to prove he is wrong, hoping he will admit he is wrong and to get some satisfaction from it but it doesn't usually help. I sometimes feel like I can't go to him for advice even though he is older, wiser and more clever than me.
Everyone has their problems and differences (I'm sure you can think of things you don't like about me now) but as long as you are willing to work on them they can only get better. Just open up a bit, think about your opinion and compare it to others. Before you fight your corner take into consideration their opinion and try to work out where they are coming from and why they think they are correct. If you still think they are wrong there is no hurt in trying to help them and explain them in a easy way why you think differently and remember that just because you have different opinions doesn't mean one of you is wrong. Knowledge is an important asset in life, by being open you analyse opinions then take in the good information and disregard the bad stuff. If you don't do that then you're not learning anything.
Don't feel bad or beat yourself up over any of this, we are only humans and life is too short.
Couple of songs for you
I know someone like that Toby, except for the part about him being older, wider and cleverer than me ♦ He is just so set in his own mind that he won't back down in anything he disagrees with, even if the other party shows evidence for why they are right 
Puts me on epic life tilt when I provide evidence to prove that I was right in said argument, and he just says "Oh whatever, I know i'm right"
Anyway, slightly off topic there ♦ Great post vonki
I've played on Party for 3 days now. I went on strike on my bossclient because of some rakebackfuss which now seems to be getting sorted.
So anyway I found a bonus on PP and decided to play there for a while, and yey! I'm liking the world domination promotion. I got 16$ and a 5k$ freeroll ticket so far.
I've won some moniez and ran quite okay aswell, AWESOME! Feels like a completely different thing, I've been playing without stats and basically been playing v v good imo.
Someone said on skype today "Playing without stats is sooooo -EV imo". And it got me thinking. Is it really? I mean the days I've played on party without stats now I've found my thoughtprocess goes further than "he folds x % to cb, ok... i cb." Silly example but you get the point.
It strangely has me thinking more in ranges than when playing with stats. I'm thinking "his range from BB in this spot should be this and that meaning he probably can't call many second barrels here" rather than "oh this guy is kinda tight, he'll probably fold".
It's as if since I don't have any stats to look at, I automatically look for other things. The things I should be looking for.
There was a time when I really couldn't imagine playing without stats, but after these 3 days it has really got me thinking it might be a good thing really. Maybe not fulltime, but I def think it would be beneficial to play without stats every now and then.
What do you guys think? More thoughts and reflections are superwelcome! 
I am so super dependent of stats . I think they help a lot. but they can be misleading as well. Nothing is worth a good read.
I completely see where you are coming from with the stats.
But stats are super useful if we are using them well. I think it was Dogisheadsup in his series that was saying something like "if you feel like stats are making you playing worse you are not using/understanding them well".
In essence stats are only here to help you defining villain range, type of play but shouldn't replace your thinking about good/bad board to barrel etc...
But again I really see what you are saying bc ofc it happens to me as well ("what a nit, I'll barrel him off his TP! 
)
haha yea exactly dublimax!
and I think whilst developing a better thoughtprocess (thinking alot more in ranges etc) it can be good to play a few sessions without and try to combine it with using the stats step by step
So anyway, I am a bit confused atm. I don't know whether to stay on Partypoker or move back to boss. I decided to play some NL50 on Party yesterday since I had the BR for it in $. I found some good tables and saw no reason not to. The session went okay, lost a buyin early and had a pretty shitty run in the middle where I ran into the nuts etc but then picked up back towards the end and found myself around breakeven when I decided to start blinding out.
Some random guy then decided to donate 2 stacks to me, by first raise/4betting to 50bb with KJ from SB vs my BB 3b, and I ofc shipped it with AK. He then bought in again and waited to blind in again, when I pick up KK UTG when he's in BB. He 3bets me, I 4b and he ships. Ofc I snap, and he had AQ. Thanks! Hit 'n run like a pro 
I've noticed that Partypoker doesnt "tilt" me. I thought I wasn't affected by the boss software anymore but I think I still am. It just feels alot better to play on PP. The downside is that I'll have to play in $ and the biggest problem is the rakeback. I have a good deal on boss with the montly rakeback as where I'd have to play forever to get a decent bonus for rakeback on Party. I think that will def slow down my move up the stakes 
But what do i know, the tiltlike feeling might just be because I ran like shit for quite a while on boss as where I've ran pretty good on Party. I just asked myself whether I would have felt as good about Party if I had run as bad as on boss and the answer I came up with was most likely not.
I will try to discuss the matter with my coach and see what he thinks, but you're all welcome to give some input aswell!
over and out
xoxo
@stats
If you're not thinking in ranges while using stats and you are thinking when not, all you need to do when playing with stats is to start thinking in ranges. Easy game, huh?
@ boss vs pp
I'd never play on boss if i was learning a game. Since you can't see the hands that went to showdown you won't learn how to use the information that you gain from showdowns on normal networks and hence you lack one rly important skill after you move out of boss.
@ the "donations"
KJ 40-50bb deep vs aggro ppl super std 4bAI bvsb. AQvsKK that's closer but 50bb's deep in a sh game it's neverever too bad to ship AQ pre. Or even for 100bb's imo.
@ the donations
we were 100bb deep in both spots, but his 4betsize was 50bb in the KJ hand. He opened 3bb, i 3bet to 9 and he made it 50. I then shipped over it. And I'm not one of the "superaggro" people who its superstandard to stack with ^^
As for the AQ hand, it was 100bb too. I don't see how he's ever good 3b/shipping in that spot. I open utg (which is my tightest range) and there isnt THAT much 3betting going on on NL50 that he'll ever be good vs my utg 4b range. In a normal case I'd never 4b/go broke with jacks there vs an unknown in BB (simply because I will end up being dominated pretty much always or flipping vs AK), given the hand vs him i'd probably do it with jacks in this case, but if my 4b/broke range is JJ+ and AK than he still only has 30% equity.
If he is 3betting me very loose, it's assumingly a better idea to just call the 3bets since if he's in BB i got position on him anyway? It's not like I'll start 4b/calling a much wider range utg vs his BB 3b/ship just like that?
So I'm a bit curious on your thinking that it's not so bad to ship, even 100bb deep? If it's a blindsituation I agree that stacking for 50bb is std, and if it's vs an aggro player in BB/SB vs BU/CO or the like it's not a bad idea. Against most utg raise/4b range tho I think it's suicide.
So please share your thoughts here
100bb's deep 4b/cing KJ even bvsb is spew obv. I dunno, maybe i misread your post. With AQ it's about fold equity. If he views you as a plr who 4b/folds a lot it can be fine, even for 100bb's. Haven't played nl50 in quite some time, so don't have a clue how much ppl 3b there.
About adjustments, if someone 3bets a lot ofc i widen my 4bet/calling range and my flatting range.
Been ill for some days now. One of the most boring weekends ever.
I've not been ill enough to be knocked out sleeping all day, yet not had any energy to go outside, or even stand up long enough to clean my room or do anything productive at all.
I've only played some NL10 hands and a few hands of NL25 yesterday.
Today however I at least have the WILL to get back playing and learning and get back to life again. That surely must mean I'm getting better. So I went into planning mode today. I'm gonna do some freelance work in the upcoming days whilst I'm not yet well enough to play NL50 and stuff, with some NL25 sessions when I have time and energy.
I'm going to visit another swedish freelancer at the end of july (leaving on the 26th and stay til 3rd of aug or smt) and the plan is to grind alot alot of poker and do quite some freelance work Hopefully we'll be joined by a 3rd party too. I'm quite sure I will have a blast!
I've decided to stay at Party to clear my $200 bonus and use up my PP's for whatever I can get. Then I'll more likely then not cash out whatever winnings I have and return to Boss. The idea is to play $NL50 on PP, and if I am rolled for 23+ BI on €NL50 when I return I'm gonna take another stab there, already being used to playing the limit.
Goals for rest of July
[ ] Clear $200 bonus (~670/1200 PP so far)
[ ] Play more on Boss (100€ rake) to recieve RB (~40€ to go)
[ ] 30k hands total, preferably 40k (17k played)
[ ] Complete all Freelancework and be happy with amount of h put in
Think that will be all for now. Gonna make sure I get some more goals for August later and try to update weekly or something.
Peace out
xoxo
Day after I wrote I thought I was getting better I pretty much only got out of bed to eat. Karma? ♦
Today however I feel pretty good, my mind is pretty clear and I managed to put in 1400 hands so far 
Feels damn great to have energy to do something productive again!
Gonna try to get in some more hands later and post some hands for my coach to look at... if I manage both I'll be damn happy about todays efforts considering the circomstanses.
There's some weird Free card click or whatever promotion on Party that comes up every now and then, no idea what it is. I even got a card when I know I didn't play that 24h period. Still got a card, and 50 PP. Not complaining. ♦