Poker and loneliness: life is not limited to the monitor and green tables!

Our Miss Russian Community finalist Helena aka SaWachka is back with the third part of her series, enjoy!

Author: sawachka our Miss Russian Community finalist.

Poker and the problem of loneliness: looking beyond the game

In my first article I shared my personal experience of living with a young man who chose the bumpy ride of playing poker professionally, in the second we spoke to the partners of some of our community's most successful players and gained some insight into their family lives.

Today, I'd like to touch on the topic of loneliness in poker, and how to look beyond the game itself to overcome it.

On the forum I've seen multiple instances of players posting about relationship issues or problems in their personal life because of the uncertainty, lack of time and anti-social lifestyle that accompanies the game.

Just to warn you though, I'm not going to teach you pick- up lines or flirting tricks. No. We will talk about how to reach a better place in your relationships, how to transcend your fears, forget your uncertainty and instill healthy habits to help make the right impression on the people you want in your life.

1. Time management

Planning is a key component of success in any business, especially for poker players.

As American scientist Arnold Glasgow said: "Success, it's simple. Do what you think is right, do it right and at the right time."

From my own experiences, I can say that chaos and confusion in one's mind are directly related to the same conditions in every day life. A person who doesn't know how to manage their time is constantly late, concedes to laziness, and gives up on most of their plans because of time-killers like social networks, random internet browsing and TV programs. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you need to give them up completely, but everything has a time and place.

However, this topic is already worn out and jaded so I won't dwell on it any further. For those of you who wish to delve a little deeper, I'd highly recommend the book "Extreme Time Management" by Morochkovskogo.

2. Learning to think positively

A pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity, while an optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty. Once you begin to replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you start obtaining positive results. Of course, it's never quite as easy as that. Negativity can sometimes get on top of you, I understand that completely.

But it's worth giving a go. I was helped on the matter by Robin Sharma's book "200 rules of life". I've read it several times, extracted the tips I wanted to implement into my own life and also taught them to my family.

Once we learn to see good in everything, all our fears fade into the background. Our shortcomings no longer seem as serious and the complexities in life shrink away.

3. Healthy in body, healthy in mind

When we begin to plan our day, because poker occupies a lot of our time, it's important to distribute the remaining hours effectively.

A lot of poker players are overweight and have health problems because of the amount of time they spend sat behind a computer. But remember, this is your future, and it doesn't have to be like that.

Ideally, a good use of spare time would be to start hitting the gym. But if for some reason that isn't possible, you can always exercise on your own. For example, you can buy a bike, and every day after a session aim to ride a certain distance; not only to strengthen your body, but also to enjoy some unfamiliar scenery. The more kilometres you log, the more weight you will drop and the more confident you will become. Then you can conquer not only the hearts of women, but also higher limits, because intense abdominal exercises tone not just the body but also the mind.

4. Expanding horizons: Girls like smart guys!

As well as physical activity, it's also important to indulge in some intellectual exercise. Forget for a moment about Facebook or Twitter, there are plenty of sites - Esquire, CPU, Forbes, ADME etc - that will expand your horizon.

The list above is just a part of my own morning routine. In reality, you'd opt for sites that fit in with your own interests, but you can find anything on the internet! If your passions are restricted mainly to poker - don't worry! Just keep up with all the latest news, movies, books or gadgets. That way, when you're with a lady, at least you'll always have something to talk about.

5. Love descends suddenly

Before you start telling your loved one about how you've just picked off a huge bluff with third pair, you've got to find her first! But that shouldn't be hard after all this hard work on your body and mind. Here's the question though: is it worth telling her about this hobby which has gradually become your work?

Good girls have morals and abide by rules of decency, they want the door opened for them and their coat to be taken. They don't want to be lectured on the complexities of 3-betting light or double-barrel bluffing right off the bat, so if you don't want to be considered an amaetur profanity, steer clear of the poker talk on the first date.

You don't want to frighten her and create a false first impression; instead opt to demonstrate subtle humour and good taste. And when she asks you about your profession, simply answer: "I am engaged in the redistribution of financial flows from favourable countries and their assets."

6. Ideas for dating

Often young men wonder how to make a first date truly memorable for a woman.

Restaurants and movies are worn out and boring. But there's so much room for imagination, try planning something romantic that caters to all tastes and wallet sizes.

Here are a few suggestions:

Horse riding

Girls love animals.

Equestrian sport is always interesting and enjoyable, even if your girlfriend has never sat on a horse. Plus, a first date like this will live long in her memory.

Poker game

First, sharing your passion and occupation will bring you closer to your lady - as mentioned though, not that good an idea for a first date - and second, it will likely prove amusing for her to learn. Explain that poker is a complex, mathematical game, rather than purely enjoyment and luck.
 
Don't go and sit in a dark, seedy poker room, though. You can play anywhere - outdoors, in a cafe, in the park or even at the beach.

Ladies love a culinary masterpiece

The ability to cook is the joker up your sleeve! Invite her home and cook an interesting dish.

Utilise the fact we live in the era of the internet! Even if your oven has more cobwebs than your garden shed, YouTube will teach you everything you need to know in minutes.

Demonstrate your cooking skills frequently enough and it will be the decisive bullet point on your CV of characteristics. If a girl doesn't like the idea of visiting your house for a meal, have a picnic outdoors, the atmosphere is less obtrusive. Dinner in the park or country is a great alternative to constantly visiting restaurants.

Above all though, just remember that life isn't limited to the monitor and green tables.

The greatest advantage of poker is that it grants us freedom, but that can turn into a mirage if you enclose yourself within four walls surrounded by Dan Harrington books.

Play and learn of course, but don't forget to live a full life. Love and be loved, communicate with friends and combine business with pleasure, keep a positive mindset and good luck will be on your side!