You're a true poker player if...
...You're already counting how many big blinds you've missed out on by reading this.
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PH has nothing to do with chemistry

On a scale of one through ten, everyone knows Phil Hellmuth is the only poker player who ranks eleven.
The tourney grind is your only Sunday ritual

Long ago have you replaced church mornings and family roast dinners with mass multi-tabling and migraines.
You calculate everything in BBs

"Honey look, this brand new car would only cost us 15,000 big blinds!"
You dream of conquering the Main Event

What poker player doesn't fantasize about making the November Nine, conquering the game's most prestigious tournament, and winning millions in cash live on ESPN?
Bad beats can't chink your mental armour

Your brain is trained over time to respond with ruthless, statistical logic in the face of even the toughest or seemingly endless string of beats.
Black Friday is in April, not November

It may be known for post-Thanksgiving shopping mayhem by most, but true poker players will always associate Black Friday with the 2011 demise of the online poker industry in America, and the effective end of the poker boom years.
You are fearless in the face of adversity

Tackling negative variance and mind bending downswings has only made you more eager to improve, determined to succeed; when the going gets tough...
Matt Damon will always be Mike McDermott

Forget Good Will Hunting, True Grit, The Bourne Trilogy and The Talented Mr. Ripley, true poker players remember Matt Damon as hero 'Mike McDermott' for his starring role in 1998 cult classic Rounders.
Howard Lederer makes your teeth curl

Even if you're unfamiliar with Lederer's role in destroying online poker in America (and therefore making the games a lot harder for the rest of us) this picture should do the trick.

