Bad Jokes

She was only a whiskey-maker, but he loved her still.

Q: Where do books eat dinner?
A: At the table of contents.

A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet ya tree fiddy that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way."

The guy says, "Why not?"

And the butcher answers, "The steaks are too high!"

One time an electrician came home drunk at four o'clock in the morning. "Wire you insulate?" his wife scolded.

"Watts it to you?" he snapped. "I'm ohm, ain't I?"

Brazil.

Freerolls with rebuys.

What do you call a computer that sings?

I told my girlfriend that my mom is old so she needs to speak slowly and loud. Then I told my mom my girlfriend is retarded. They have no idea!

Q:  What's red and bad for your teeth?
A:  A brick

Originally posted by Paakjis
Yo mama so fat

Spoiler

she has a real horse on her Polo shirt.

Your mama so fat

Originally posted by ThatGuyMatt
At a job interview.

"What would you say was your greatest weakness?"

"Honesty."

"I don't think honesty is a weakness."

"I don't give a fuck what you think."

I laughed so hard I cried!

I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

I'm going to have my spine removed.
I think that it is what's holding me back.

There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.

the other night I was laying in bed and looked up to the stars in the sky and asked myself, where the hell is the ceiling?

Two monks ran a fish-and-chip stand.
A customer came to the stand and asked, "Are you the fish friar?"
"No", came the reply, "I'm the chip monk"

Eating a clock can be very time consuming.

vorpal your talent is wasted here, you just might be the next big thing in the christmas cracker joke industry.

[Edited by VorpalF2F]

omg, that has both offended and disgusted me. thats enough internet for today.