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Sorry for all the good jokes, but I promise...
There's a couple of bad ones in there...
NSFW 
Spoiler
Three old ladies were sitting on a park bench, and a man jumped out of the bushes and flashed them.
The first lady had a stroke, the second lady had a stroke, and the third lady's arm was too short to reach.
The stable boy got fired for studying French philosophers.
He was putting Descartes before the horse
I saw a film about how makeup destroyed the world.
It was a poke-apocalipstick horror
My wife said she's leaving me because she can't handle my OCD.
"Close the door ten times on your way out," I said.
My dentist reminded me of my wife's sensitive gag reflex. We laughed and laughed.
Then I remembered that my wife and I have different dentists 
Message to the thief in the wheelchair who nicked my camouflage jacket:
You can hide but you can't run
Whilst having sex I suddenly stopped and didn't move for a while.
My wife asked 'What are you doing?'
I said 'I've seen this on PornHub - it is called buffering'
My penis was in a world record book once...
until the librarian told me to take it out ♠_wink:
