Guy walks into a bar and orders a fruit punch
Bartender says "Pal, if you want a punch you'll have to stand in line"
There is no punch line
Notifications
Clear all
Please from now on, due to the worldwide quarantine situation:
Only post inside jokes!
Before your criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes
That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes
A man was dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there was a Gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table.
He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her.
Suddenly she sneezed, and her glass eye came flying out of its socket towards the man.
He reflexively reached out, grabbed it out of the air, and handed it back.
'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman said, as she popped her eye back in place. 'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you.'
They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they went to the theatre followed by drinks.
They talked, they laughed, she shared her deepest dreams and he shared his. She listened to him with interest.
After paying for everything, she asked him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast.
They had a wonderful, wonderful time.
The next morning, she cooked a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy was amazed. Everything had been so incredible!
'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'
'No,' she replies. .. ....
'You just happened to catch my eye.'
It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things
literally
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did,
not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car
