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A woman walks into the ER and sits down in a chair.
After a moment of silence, she shouts “Shouldn’t!”.
A minute passes. “Can’t! Wouldn’t!”
Another minute. “Oughtn’t! Could’ve! Won’t! Don't!”.
A doctor hears her shouts and dashes over to her.
He yells -- “Somebody call the maternity ward! This woman’s having contractions!”
I’ve started investing in stocks: beef, chicken, and vegetable.
Someday, I hope I’ll be a bouillonaire.
A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
Arial and Verdana walk into a bar.
The bartender says, “Get out — we don’t serve your type
A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting.
With a cute little sentence fragment.
Murphy's Law of the Open Road:
When there is a long road upon which there is a one-way bridge placed at random, and there are only two cars on that road, it follows that:
(1) the two cars are going in opposite directions, and
(2) they will always meet at the bridge.
One time, I went on a trip to visit a company and consult.
I had hoped they might send a limo and driver to the airport to get me.
They sent a harlequin instead.
It was a bit disappointing, but I guess it was still a nice jester
