Hello
Sorry, my fellow musketeer, ye, i did not post it, i admit im a bit a lazy this month.
I am now sure that all this stuff around FTP, cashout, Moneybookers... hit me psyhologicaly more than i was ready to admit , so i find my self even in some cases in state of panic trying to find quick solution, for something i wasnt ready, and hopefully gona prepare my self better in future. Especially when this is my only source of income.
Now i know that only xx buy ins BR is not the only thing considering good bank roll management, next time i am gona cash out in time with money i dont need on account, and gona make saving for bad times for not 3 months but 6 months, and later probably for whole year. This school was expensive but hope i learned something for good.
My dear coach propose some methods of cashing out, but i dont wont to take any more risks and gona wait for moneybookers to work again, or in mean time try to open Netteler. Any way not going to waste more than i need my mental energy on something, that is for now out of any influence by me. So let it be.
What i have now is luck of motivation, starting all over again, from scratch. Ye i changed site on which im playing (not wise to build my BR on FTP when i cant cash out for now), and doing something like 10% roi, slow but sure up.
Yesterday i was reading some blogs, and find that other people also have luck of motivation even when they running good, so next thing i was thinking was...ok let me find all those good thing happend in poker till now, and maybe those positive feelings from past start doing some positive things for future (sorry my english is not so good so i hope you understand what i meant).
Positive from past:
- i find a game in which if you work on yourself and invest time improving, it actually pays off, which is hard to say for other "real" jobs in life
- build more than 6k $ from literly freerolls (then deposit of 10$, because they didnt alow cash out if you dont put your money first, and this site by the way is probably history now, Absolute Poker, i am gona remember you forever, big thank you)
- you become member of this wonderfull site PokerStrategy.com (and you got also 50$ from them for boost, and now you bring them good money as well, so deff win-win).
- you meet wonderfull people here, like variancekiller, <3, worm5 and all other, thank you guys a lot
- had a huge support from my „real“ life friends (Hrvoje, Danijel thx)
- haveing the best pearson by my side, my wife is the best, showing me such a huge support (thx darling), and showing me also, that is not all about result, but about a will to stand up every time you fail, or when you think you fail…
Life
Life is a bitch some times, this is like… I dont know any more, just when i hit good, something comes out of the blue, and screw you. So ye life is variance, you go good than you got 15-50 bi down in a streak, and you think to yourself, sht not again, just when it started to roll finaly, there you go again down. Fk you life, i am going to stand up one more time, and one more after that, and always one more time more then you pound on me. Im gona be fkn Volume, ye call me „volume“, im gona put such a huge volume, so if thats what have to be im gona punch back with volume against variance. In the end we all lose battle with life, but what a hack, we gona gone in style. Like Frank Sinatra said: I did it my way.
There is not gona be month goals for some time, before I regain my confidence in a head, so lets say im gona have my weekly goals. And for now its gona be about building my confidence and mental atitude back in track.
This week goals:
- playing every day the number of games im feeling i can handle
- concentrate on my A game not on result
- not losing any time on stuff i cant influence
- work on my mental side of poker
- put some more quality time with friends, and people i admire and love
Whish me luck. Over and out