Okay.. so this is likely to be the worst monthly review I've posted in terms of entertainment value.
I'm not posting garphs, needless to say there isn't much worth reading. To save a bit of rambling here are the salient points, in no particular order, arising from this month:
I realised that even though I consistently note how horrible I play, that it somehow doesn't do justice to the horror that is my game. After 20 odd months of playing 15 - 20k hands per month and studying with some focus at least 25% of that time I really have no idea. I think as bad as my game is though I think I can say I am capable of beating $.50/$1 SH with religious table selection at between 0.5BB - 1BB/100 - which frankly sucks.
TwiceT's awesome Black Member post made me think pretty seriously about a few things poker wise. The primary one is the absolute import of approaching the game from a purely professional perspective. I've thought along these lines before, and thought around them a lot, but I think outside of a week or two I've not really followed this line as far as I should. Partially through being lazy and weak minded and partially through an underlying belief that poker time is essentially a pastime and not worthy of having a better attitude. April has seen the first time I've tried to throw the switch on my mental approach to the ruthless professional mindset. I've not properly succeeded to do so, but every day I'm getting better.
I played the most I've ever played this month - in excess of 30k hands. This was actually less than I want to - ideally this month I'll get close, if not over, 40k hands. I split my play between 888.com and FTP as I was trying to clear the FDB at 888.com - a complete waste of time as it required waaay to much time commitment. I won't try and clear bonuses at other sites unless I get established at $2/$4 SH.
After shotting $2/$4 SH at the end of last month.. to disasterous effect over a tiny sample size.. the start of this month was awesome. Well, the first day was.... after that I pretty much didn't have a winning day for the next week or so. I completely spat the dummy and withdrew back to a $600 BR before I donated the cash to the FTP faithful. I'm not ready to be Jesus just yet.
I then went on a heater and got back to shotting $1/$2 SH again, before ending the last ten days of April donating again so I'm back at around $600 again after a month of grinding, and withdrawing all bonuses and RB.
None of this is in any way remarkable with reference to the first point.
Over the last three or four days of April and start of May I barely played. It was the least volume I've played in ages. I absolutely didn't feel compelled to play for any length of time in absolutely ages. And it has helped. I'm back ready to smash into it again. I continue to formulate plans and want to actually implement them rather than think/talk about implementing them.
I can't get over how addicted to this game I am. There is virtually no other pastime I can think of that I could commit so much time to for so little return. All I want to do now though is actually end this time with some sort of understanding of this game - otherwise what a complete waste of life.
It's not a glass half full/half empty conundrum. It's a "why waste time staring at a glass?" conundrum.
I don't think I'll post May goals - although I will write some out for myself. I'm going to have a strategic think through what I hope to achieve in the next 6 -8 weeks, and how I'm going to achieve it, over the remainder of this week. Depending on the success I have formulating the plan and my attitude toward it I may or may not post it here. TBH it feels a bit of a waste of time posting it, I'd rather post my results at the end of the month - success or failure.
out.