Vegas Virgin Diary: A night out on the Strip
Our Vegas newbie William Powell samples his first night on the town and encounters some of the seedier elements that Sin City has to offer.
Saturday Night on the Las Vegas Strip
I had a couple of free days before I started work as a tournament reporter at the WSOP so on Saturday night I decided to check out some of the sights on The Strip. I had my very own tour guide in the shape of Yorkshire’s top poker reporter, Matt Pitt (Editor note......ahem, Yorkshire born and bred here).
Matt knew that the best way to get to the Strip was the free Rio shuttle, but it was Saturday night so there was a huge queue and there was no way we were getting on it. Some guide.
Walking was out of the question so a cab it was, crawling through the crazy traffic as the driver cursed the other idiots on the road.
We got dropped off at Bally’s and strolled through the casino floor followed by a look around Paris with its startling cloud ceiling and on to Planet Hollywood. Each place had its own vibe but similar clientele, guys in their dress shirts and girls in their skimpiest shimmering outfits with glossy hair and deep tans.
Matt had sunk a couple of cold ones already but I was parched so we decided to have a drink sat outside the Harley Davidson bar where a cooling fine mist spray took the edge off the heat. Over a beer we chatted about, what else, poker. Matt told me about the soft cash games he played in here a couple of years ago, recounting the time he turned a full house and over bet the pot with a river shove and got paid off by a flush in a $600 pot. I wonder if I can catch some run good while I’m out here?
Getting chased by a middle aged hooker and her pimp
.jpg "Paris Vegas")
After the refreshing beer we decided to go for a walk along the strip to take in the sights and mingle with the Saturday night crowd, stopping off to grab an extra-large can of beer to sip as we walked and getting asked for I.D. Everybody was drinking on the street and there was a friendly party atmosphere.
The casinos and hotels were all brightly lit up flashing their presence, and it was undeniably spectacular. We saw the Fountains of Bellagio which were suitably impressive; everything was a feast for the eyes. Billions of dollars have been spent to lure tourists with deep pockets from every corner of the globe. Want to go to Paris but don’t like French people? Come to Vegas to see the Eiffel tower. Are the canals of Venice too smelly for you? Don’t worry, the Venetian in Vegas has canals that are squeaky clean and air conditioned so there’s no need to break a sweat.
Every hundred meters or so there were people trying to press baseball sized cards in our hands. There are pictures of girls on them instead of Mickey Mantle and the numbers are not batting averages, they are phone numbers. The hustlers handing out the cards are not supposed to speak to you as that would constitute soliciting apparently, but some can’t help themselves and surreptitiously mutter “Titties!” under their breath. In many ways it’s a useful clarification because otherwise how else would you know what these cards were offering? I mean it could be anything, right?
There are even vans bearing billboards that cruise The Strip advertising “Girls to Your Room.” God only knows what would happen if you actually phoned one of these numbers but I suspect it wouldn’t end well. I’ve heard some stories from people who will remain nameless, no it wasn’t Matt, and it rarely ends in the promised happy ending, more like fleeing with you pants left behind you being chased by a middle aged Asian hooker with an enraged pimp not far behind.
Midget Elvis and Amazonian women
There are also dozens of more innocent attractions on the sidewalk in the shape of street performers including a midget Elvis, Amazonian women in fishnet body stockings with fairy wings, Transformers, Despicable Me characters and a couple of children with boxes on their heads posing as Minecraft characters, all after a few bucks for you to pose for a photo with them. Even at this time of night it’s hot and it must be stifling inside their get ups, but me and Matt calculate their hourly and think that maybe it’s not too bad. Could a career change be on the horizon?
We end the walk by getting briefly rained on and ducking in to New York New York (created so you don’t have to visit the real New York) and again have a snoop around the gaming floor where I spied a dealer at one of the Pai Gow tables explaining to a player how to arrange their cards into two hands, one high and one low. This was a $25 a hand table and the guy had no idea how to play, but of course he had a complimentary drink perched beside him and as many more that he wanted as long as he had money to gamble.
A couple of young ballers at the craps table whooped at a successful roll of the dice and high fived each other. Girls danced in their underwear on podiums between the blackjack tables as one middle aged man pulled out his phone to take a few pictures. At least throw them a few bucks if you’re going to do that, she’s not doing it because she likes the song that’s playing. And what are you going to do with those pictures? I dread to think.
We were still thirsty so we spotted an Irish bar called “Nine Fine Irishmen”, ducked inside and sank a Guinness as we enjoyed an excellent live band complete with some authentic Irish dancing, again not Matt.
They want your money and will do anything to part you from it
Soon it was time to head back to the Extended Stay, but before we went we finished up with a look around the Aria which was pretty swanky and had by far the best looking poker room filled with some serious looking grinders.
In each of the casinos we visited we checked out the poker rooms and, apart from the Aria, they were all pretty underwhelming. Compared to the vast space of the gaming floors the areas reserved for poker are tiny and uninspiring. It’s understandable I suppose as poker players generate hardly any money for the casinos, but compared to the huge number of mindless slot machines I couldn’t help feeling a bit sorry for the game I love.
One more beer as we queued for the cab home rounded off the evening nicely as I reflected on what I’d seen and wondered what the weeks ahead held in store.
So here’s my feeling about Vegas so far. They want your money and they will sell you anything in order to part you from all the dollars in your pocket and then some. You can gamble it at the tables, you can buy sex, drugs or alcohol, or even spend $20 on a picture with a Minecraft kid with a cardboard box on his head. But you don’t have to, it’s your choice.
Without doubt it’s an intoxicating and seducing place, especially if you’re intoxicated and easily seduced. If you don’t have a head on your shoulders you could easily lose your shirt, or worse, your pants.
Strip images courtesy of Christian Zetzsche.
Vegas Virgin Diary: Greeted by Slot Machines
Vegas Virgin Diary: Las Vegas here I come
 William Powell is a freelance journalist and live tournament reporter for poker tournaments around the world. Primarily a live low stakes player he occasionally donates to the online poker community.
This is his first time in Las Vegas and he will be reporting on what other Vegas newbies can expect from the City of Sin.
|
