[Closed] My personal $100 to $1000 challenge

(Note - I am not blaming Full Tilt. But I am going to use it as the object of my scorn. This is not a "rigged" post)

$226

A fissure is a crack in the sphincter that bleeds and is very painful. It is made worse if one has a "tight" ass because it inhibits the healing process.

With this in mind, lets talk about today.

So I'm 4 tabling 2/5 Rush. A very fun experience. But my previous bout with Full Tilt-itis left me vulnerable to Full Tilt Fissures. The major symptom of a Full Tilt Fissure is cracks... pocket aces getting cracked... trip aces getting cracked... pocket kings getting cracked... You know you have a Full Tilt Fissure and not some other kind by the creativeness by which your suppossedly winning hand gets cracked by a lesser hand on the river multiple times in a session... To the point where you ACTUALLY FEAR PLAYING QQ, KK, AKs and AA and dread if the hand even gets to the flop!

Full Tilt Fissures happen to TAGs. The aggressiveness of the TAG actually helps the fissure widen. Why, because a TAG will reraise with the best hand, thus putting more money in the pot, thus multiplying his losses after the river comes. The tightness of a TAG makes sure that the fissures never go away. Why, because since the TAG only plays good hands, and since good hands are precisely the breeding ground for these Full Tilt fissures, a TAG is basically only playing hands that will give him fissures!

Full Tilt Fissures are a real pain in the ass.

Regardless of this absolutely horrifying illness today, I still feel I am playing well and making good decisions... I am actually happy to be at $226 because given the amount of times utterly comical things happened to my buy ins, I made up for it by rebuying in again and trucking on. To be only down 2 buyins after the ridiculousness today is a small miracle.

Quick Update...

Variance, just when I start to complain, you turn around and do this...

4 table Rush 2/5 - 30 minutes, 420 hands, 21 dollar profit!

$247

$189

4 tables, rush, 5 / 10, full ring

I am trying REALLY REALLY hard to avoid tilting. I am trying REALLY REALLY hard to keep from giving up altogether.

It seems ridiculous the amount of times flopping trips has lost me buyins. Today alone, trips have cost me 4 buyins. Each time, I held the best hand until the turn or river, where I usually got straighted, flushed or some other creative way to beat my hand.

I think the poker gods are testing my "poker mindset". As soon as I sat down I lost two buyins on trips! I gotta say, there are times where I am scared to have a good hand because I just KNOW it will get beat in the worst way by the river.

And it isn't the four tables... my reads are fine (surprisingly so... I didn't think I would be able to handle it but because you fold so much, it really isn't that big a deal). I don't think I can 4 table a regular ring game or SNG, but rush I can no problem. I've learned that it is possible to over think rush. I think in the past I get into trouble by trying too much, by thinking way too far away from where my opponents are thinking. Rush, at micro from what I've noticed, is the wrong place for fancy plays because by the turn, no one is sitting there with nothing. A person either has a hand, or has a major draw that they are paying way too much to see.

Well, by my calculations I should be getting quite a bit of rakeback. What small consolation. Today was brutal.

Also, if an admin is reading this, can you please move this thread over to blogs... I think this thread is in the wrong place. Thanks!

Quick update...

The poker gods have a sense of humour. I finished writing the above note and my wife and child were not back so I decided to play some more. Second hand... Flop trips... becomes a full house on the turn... all in... he has two pair... river... BAM he gets a higher full house!

$180

Originally posted by hackbinder
Also, if an admin is reading this, can you please move this thread over to blogs... I think this thread is in the wrong place. Thanks!

Or to "Downswing reports"

Hey mate i feel you....

Seem like my downswing continued after i took week break.

donno why but I just can not win any coin flips. AND even when im WAY head i still seems to win,

Funny thing last night i went all in with AQ 4 different SNG during high blinds, and all called by lower pair, 55, 88, TT and JJ. LOST EVERY ONE OF THEM! lol, isnt this supose to be almost 50:50?

and also went all in with KQ and Q9 called and Q9 end up winning!

now what im gonna do is move down to $2 sng and just concerntrate on making correct decision on high blinds.

$181

This sums up my session... I got so tired of getting outdrawn that I decided to shove more freely to discourage others hanging around and hitting their draws... And then this...

Full Tilt Poker Game #XXXXXXXXXXXX: Table Mach 10 - $0.05/$0.10 - No Limit Hold'em - 01:58:23 ET - 2010/08/18
Seat 1: AA ($3.82)
Seat 2: BB ($27.89)
Seat 3: CC ($15)
Seat 4: DD ($10)
Seat 5: EE ($20.96)
Seat 6: FF ($4.23)
Seat 7: GG ($10)
Seat 8: Villian ($7.89)
Seat 9: Hero ($8.82)
Hero posts the small blind of $0.05
AA posts the big blind of $0.10
The button is in seat #8
HOLE CARDS
Dealt to Hero [Jh Jd]
BB folds
CC folds
DD folds
EE folds
FF folds
GG raises to $0.30
Villian calls $0.30
Hero raises to $1.30
AA folds
GG folds
Villian calls $1

FLOP [4h 9d 7d]
Hero bets $7.52, and is all in
Villian calls $6.59, and is all in
Hero shows [Jh Jd]
Villian shows [9c Jc]

TURN [4h 9d 7d] [7c]

RIVER [4h 9d 7d 7c] [9s]

Hero shows two pair, Jacks and Nines
Villian shows a full house, Nines full of Sevens
Villian wins the pot ($15.11) with a full house, Nines full of Sevens

That rakeback better be huge...

I read a few of your posts (Full Tilt Fissure)... nice break down of the symptoms.
They say prevention is better than cure. I'd start by not playing Rush (aka Anti-Poker).
In my opinion Rush is not a good idea for building a roll. It can be fun if you can afford to lose the buy-in, but it's not a serious game as part of bankroll management or bankroll building. In my opinion of course.
PLO is a swing-heavy game. Rush compounds that even more.

Thanks for the suggestion... I figured Rush was like Light Beer... Great taste, less filling! In other words, great poker, no waiting.

I will take your advice for a while and see what happens. Again, I am not trying to have fun here, I am trying to build a roll so I can play a higher game.

Quick Update...

$236

... courtesy of ring game players who called my monsters. Also, I am starting to learn the value of a post flop pot raise or check/raise either as a question ("do you REALLY have that top pair) or as a bluff ("I have that top pair")... usually if I see a continuation bet that is less than 3/4 of the pot. I have been hesitant to use it, though, because of the low fold percentage at micro and the tendency for micro players to just shove in response. I think the value of that particular move, though, is in that particular spot because at micro most of what you see is bet / call or bet / all in.

Just my opinion, but it seems that a move like that, standard at the higher stakes, is a surprise move at micro so people are more willing to respect it, especially if you are not playing a reg.

$236

I have been struggling for a while with the $250 barrier. For wayyyyy too long I have been flirting with it. Maybe it is bad play, maybe it is up/downswings, maybe it is many things, but the constant is me. In many ways this fence keeping me from passing $250 is psychological, I think. I think everytime I get close to passing over it, I shoot myself in the foot somehow, on a deep level without me even knowing.

The rakeback that I will now be getting yes is nice, but it may help get me over that barrier without me actually having to get over it myself. In a way, I am disappointed about this, because I want to know that I did it myself. In a way, however, I am grateful because everyone else uses rakeback, so I am not alone here. I wonder, however, as I have wondered before, if the rakeback will continue to cover up a deep flaw in my mental make up that is keeping me from playing better. In so doing, it may be hindering my progress.

After Rakeback...

$266

Hey hackbinder,

I dont think you should feel bad about getting rackback because all this is about building bankroll to $1000. And I think rack back is part of the bankroll building.

Wow you got $30 rackback!!!

Max i ever get is $3-5 only because i play SNGs... Maybe i should switch to ring game.... lol

By the way how many hours do you play per day??

EDIT: my bankroll is still sitting $350... I just cant manage to make +ROI session either always lose or break even... But ATM im trying to concerntrate on play correct +EV Shove at high blinds and not getting tilt after bad beats.

That rakeback is largely due to 4 tabling 5 / 10 Rush... subsequent rakebacks will not be as big because I am cutting down the amount of rush I play... I average 1-2 hours a day... but then again, some days are more, some less, depending on the wife and baby.

I am currently trying to focus more on SNG because it hurts my pride that I am a losing player there. I am only playing 1 dollar buy ins.

$272

Some SNG success!

Now that I know how to convert hands so they are not so confusing, I want to share two hands from a while ago that were horrible. Both involved jacks...

This one I flop a full house. When that second jack hit on the river I should have been wary and just called, but I could not get away from that hand and the greed that a flopped full house filled me with. I also slow played... Big mistake! Folding a full house is hard! It was stupid to shove when the correct play is to call.

Hand converted with online PokerStrategy.com hand converter:

Play hand

$0.05/$0.1 No-Limit Hold'em (9 handed)

Known players:
[tg]BB (Hero)$7.17:///////;UTG1$3.85:///////;UTG2$4.61:///////;MP1$21.14:///////;MP2$5.42:///////;MP3$3.89:///////;CO$10.00:///////;BU$13.90:///////;SB$10.00:///////;[/tg]

Preflop: Hero is BB with Q:d, 4:h.
2 folds, MP1 calls $0.10, 5 folds, Hero checks.

Flop: ($0.25) 4:c, 4:d, Q:s (2 players)
Hero checks, MP1 bets $0.25, Hero calls $0.25.

Turn: ($0.75) J:d (2 players)
Hero bets $0.20, MP1 calls $0.20.

River: ($1.15) J:c (2 players)
Hero bets $1.15, MP1 raises to $3.00, Hero raises to $6.62, MP1 calls $3.62.

Final Pot: $14.39.
Results follow:

Hero shows a full-house, fours full of queens(Q:d 4:h).
MP1 shows a full-house, jacks full of queens(Q:h J:h).

MP1 wins with a full-house, jacks full of queens(Q:h J:h).

**************

In this one, I honestly put him on a pair. But I had the biggest pair of Dolly Partons so I figured I was good... I mean, what are the chances, right? WRONG!

Hand converted with online PokerStrategy.com hand converter:

Play hand

$0.05/$0.1 No-Limit Hold'em (6 handed)

Known players:
[tg]BB$21.68:///////;MP2$14.82:///////;MP3$10.40:///////;CO$10.00:///////;BU$6.65:///////;SB (Hero)$9.80:///////;[/tg]

Preflop: Hero is SB with A:h, A:d.
MP2 folds, MP3 raises to $0.35, 2 folds, Hero raises to $0.60, BB calls $0.50, MP3 calls $0.25.

Flop: ($1.8) J:c, J:h, J:d (3 players)
Hero bets $1.80, BB folds, MP3 calls $1.80.

Turn: ($5.4) 8:s (2 players)
Hero bets $7.40, MP3 calls $7.40.

River: ($20.2) Q:c (2 players)

Final Pot: $20.2.
Results follow:

Hero shows a full-house, jacks full of aces(A:h A:d).
MP3 shows four of a kind, jacks(Q:d J:s).

MP3 wins with four of a kind, jacks(Q:d J:s).

*************

Easy money, eh...

$282

Today was kind of cool because I got to really abuse a fish (I hate using that term because I'm no pro... But he was really a fish!) who I was sitting in position on. Hand after hand, my HUD stats were right on the money and guided my moves.

I felt it was successful not because I won hands without showdowns, but because after a while he became much more passive with me. It was a good feeling. I'd hate to think, though, that it was some kid or a senior citizen who can't see very well. That would not feel so good.

He was the only fish at that table and it is true what I read somewhere that if there is even one fish at a table of regs, it is worth playing, especially with position. Of course, when he left, so did everyone else, including me!

Inching closer to $300... I will stay at 5 / 10 until $400, though.

Good to here you’re going well, I started my own similar story. It seems I have good days and bad days, I think one of major problems is tilt control. Hopefully I can reach my goal, as I hope you reach yours.

Regards,
Big Al.

well done hackbinder look like soon u will pass my bankroll

hope we both make $1000 by end of this year!

hey hackbinder...
i like your challenge... i know how hard it is to make your first 1.000 milestone, but trust me, it feels great when u are finally there

allthough this is not hand-judging forum... just a few comments on the hands u've posted!

the Q4 hand: on the flop, i would prob. lead out myself. we have basically the nuts and want to go broke. check/call just doesnt build the pot too much. if he has a hand he will pay more now, if not he probably won't by turn or river. on the turn, why do you bet 20c into 75c pot? U say u allways get outdrawn by the river, but if i play u and have 4 outs, knowing that i have to pay 20c to see the river and that u would go broke if i hit, i'll do it!
but most important: the river shove is BAD IMO! he just needs to have a J to beat you, cause J J J 4 4 > Q Q 4 4 4! what else should he have raising you on the river?

the AA hand: why do u minraise AA PF? This is just bad, your opponent should call everything here caus its so cheap, so basically u see a flop and know nothing about your opponents hand, but he knows a lot about yours and has position... not a spot i like too much.

and i think i'll prob. play it check call on the flop. i mean a J will never fold, KK, QQ would prob. have 4bet before the flop, so there is basically only pairs smaller than J which u can beat and are willing to pay(and they are allmost drawing dead). what is your goal on the turn shoveing for 1,3 pots? do u want a better hand to fold or a worse to call? and if u play check call, if your opponent is bad, he'll bet to small to get it all on the river, so u can safe a bit here! but most important: RAISE BIGGER PRE

hope u like constructive critics ♦

cu!

If I post badly played hands, I deserve CC and ridicule!

I admit these were horrible hands by me. There was a lot of screwing around here... Very little actual thinking... I posted these particular hands not to complain of beats but to show myself shooting myself in the foot. I cannot complain about beats if my play basically asks for them!

Thanks for the feedback. I have to admit that while I am getting better at thinking through hands, and that I know I played these horribly like a total fish, some comments that you made I did not expect. What I'm trying to say is that your thinking about the hands provides a good model for how to actually think about hands, as oppossed to how I am thinking about them now... Level 1 (maybe 0?) Am I making sense?

On the Q4, I figured on a paired board I need to keep it small because I didn't want to scare him off... unfortunately I also gave him good odds to call... Yes the river shove was bad... I knew I was beat, but hoping I wasn't... Lack of discipline... (Im getting better at it... Yesterday I folded Kings... A big accomplishment for me!)

On the AA, the minreraise, again, was me trying to keep him in. Level 1 thinking. I'll know that I have improved my play when I can fold aces due to Level 2 or 3 thinking.

I really appreciate the comment you made about him knowing my hand with position while I know nothing of his and out of position.

That was a good comment... resonates.

@onepark

I think, for me, if it happens it will probably be next year sometime... do you play MTTs?

@big al

I agree... not so much because tilting loses money but because sometimes one tilts but does not identify it as such... Like the two hands I posted above... This is horrible, juvenile, tilty play... Tilt is playing bad when you could be playing better. One thinks "I can get away with it just this once..." Unfortuntely, all those times add up. I feel like this challenge is a constant struggle for me to master my own mind. For some it is easy to avoid the gamble and greed of a risky hand where the odds are not good. For me it is a struggle. It isn't about poker but about how ashamed I am for not being able to hold it together consistently, shooting myself in the foot. I feel immature. Does this make sense?

@hackbinder

Yeah i used to play low buy in MTT (i think its better 100 buy ins)
so i normally play $2 or $3 MTT BUT im trying to build my bankroll and i feel that MTT is much more swinger than SNG... (ppl please comment if im wrong) but I having trouble with SNG lol... i had good run and now just struggling to make any +ROI per session... But i do admit that I have much more fun playing MTT sometimes I will concerntrate on SNG until maybe late oct or early nov than I will study on MTT and play mtt

still up and down..
some good play but bad beat some BAD play by me..

Just another thing is when you hit some tricky hands you should post it on hand evaluation section and ask guys to comment on your play for you

sometimes when i have spare moment I just go through and read other ppls hand, how they played and comments

help you learn i guess..

EDIT: I also play lots of freeroll MTTs... Played few Aus freeroll but than i think its not worth time/racks so i dont play them but any special ones from Fulltilt or PS ($5000) I will play

$271 (crummy session)

So I'm in the middle of reading, "The Poker Blueprint", and the authour had an excellent section about stop loss. To figure his own stop loss, he took his winning sessions and got the average $ he won per session. This is his stop loss. So let's say his stop loss is $10 because that's how much he will win on the average winning session. As soon as he loses > $10 he quits because, since he can only reasonably expect to make $10 a session, it would be unreasonable to chase a loss bigger than this because that would be more than he can usually make. At least I think this is the reasoning.

So I had a crummy session today and I lost $13. I was at $284. So I decided to calculate my stop loss. My average winning session is $8... So my stop loss will be > $8 ... Say one buy in at 5 / 10... But that is not the only thing I discovered...

I also calculated my average losing session...

1) In my average losing session, I lose MORE than I win in an average winning session (the margin is about $2-3).

2) My average losing session is about 650 hands

3) My average winning session is 350 hands.

4) I have more winning sessions than losing sessions, but my losing sessions are deeper.

It did not take me long to come to a conclusion...

* I lose more when I lose than win when I win because I play longer when I lose (probably steaming to make up a loss, therefore losing more, or losing because I'm playing too long and I'm thus mentally unfocused) *

So here are a few new rules for myself...

1) Stop loss is about $8, or a buy in at 5 / 10

2) Once I have played about 350-400 hands in a session, I take a nice, long break or quit altogether

Today was very educational for me.

I like the way you have analysed your stats on a session basis to notice that leak (of losing more when losing than winning when you are winning). Might have to do that for my own data!

Im not sure if stopping playing if you lose 1 buyin as a RULE is a good idea. There may be some situations where it would be sensible like if you suffer a really bad beat and you're at risk of tilting, but there are plenty of situations where people will go down a buy-in before they start to churn out a profit, so I think having it as a strict rule may be a bad idea.

Just my two cents!

good to know u read my thoughts and they help u a bit...
one more comment on the Q4 hand: i probably even dont call his river raise, i know i'm beat in like 95% of the time, but i know that its really hard to ask u to fold floped full houses ♦ anyway, if u want to improve, think about folding these hands

good luck and keep posting hands, thoughts from other guys allways help i think

anyway, good luck in the future with your challenge, i'll keep an eye on it