HE POTS THE RIVER (have J9 one time) I CALL and he shows me that his BALLZ ARE BIGGER THAN MINE (and it wasn't a medical condition)
This really made me laugh, because of your style of expressing things that is 
My Mom is feeling a bit better, but that's like poker, some dayz you run good and others...a bit better is like being up 3 bucks and that's better than nothing.
All bits help. I hope she is doing OK.
Originally posted by KoningAlbert
HE POTS THE RIVER (have J9 one time) I CALL and he shows me that his BALLZ ARE BIGGER THAN MINE (and it wasn't a medical condition)
This really made me laugh, because of your style of expressing things that is
Yeah man don't take the game to seriousMy Mom is feeling a bit better, but that's like poker, some dayz you run good and others...a bit better is like being up 3 bucks and that's better than nothing.
All bits help. I hope she is doing OK.
She is doing better for now, thanks for asking, but its not something that can be fixed unfortunately.
Sup noobz -> Up 6 buy ins @ NL20 -> back and forwards tomorrow will be backwards again...
Yesterday
Can you see this shit??? Look where the + slider is, right below the "All In" and look how big the Bet button is(ignore the fact that I have KK and am about to fuck a motha fuckers day up).
One of my fears is accidentally pressing that fucking "all in" in button by mistake. I'm sure motha fuckers have done this before, I'm not one of those motha fuckers yet (gimme time). I'm the motha fucker that pressed that bet button when I meant to press the all in button.
Lets rewind. I was down as usual and having to grind it back up before I loose my mind. So before my session I did a review, the review was good, it takes a long time though but watching it back I am able to see exactly where I start spewing, its normally after the first hour or so, I made some notes, worked through ranges and then ate a sandwich.
After my sandwich I hopped in a game. Everything was going alright, had a massive fish at my table that likes to shit talk me, its okay, I take his money so he gets a few free shots. My stack was growing slowly, winning some small pots here and there.
And then I'm in the BB with Q6o, the BTN and SB limp and I check. The flop come 686 "RAINBOW", my dick gets instantly hard as I know one of these motha fuckers has got something, draw or 8x type hand (some over cards that will float a paired board), my shit talking fish in the SB pots the flop, I almost cum, but I manage to just call instead, the BTN joins our 3way. The turn is a 9 (puts a FD on the board), not the best turn card but my boner won't be killed easily, my fish min bets now it almost kills my boner. I don't know what to do now, cause he is obviously scared of the turn and I still have the BTN behind me giving me a reach around. I just call, the BTN calls as well.
River is a 6 and my fish half pots it... OMG 
I can't hold back anymore, he has a full house, I go to press "All In" but instead I press "bet" 
all I do is click it back to him the BTN folds cause this 3way just got weird, my fish tanks and then just calls... 
My boner drops instantly and all of a sudden I am at "FUCK THIS GUY" tilt. OMG I am raging at myself for not taking my time and for this idiot who doesn't raise his fullhouse, who the fuck does that???
I play 2 more rotations and then I just sit out...I can't fucking believe I was able to sit out, I wanted to fuck that fish until he smelled like a wet dog, but instead I decided that if I stay in my state I will just give it all back to him and I'm not doing that shit.
In the middle of all that rage I did something that I was trying to do since I started playing poker, MAKE A GOOD DECISION. 
Now, I've played 3 sessions since that one...and I am up, but...making good decisions 2 days in a fucking row is a lot to fucking ask.
later noobz
Up 7 buy ins @ NL20 -> Shit didn't I start the month like this or something??? Whatever, book win. I'm not too disappointed, maybe a little, but fuck it (but fuck lol). I called my June spread sheet "June Redemption" I don't know if I achieved that based on the way things were going. Up and down and down some more then up again. I also barely played any tournaments, and the ones that I did play...meh. I think I am going to continue with the NL20 challenge next month/tomorrow. Still going to try and get up to 25 buy ins and then going start taking shots at NL50 more often. I want to be at NL50 by September or round there, that gives me lots of room to fuck up and then unfuck myself. I also want to play in our big Sunday tournament, 50k for 1st, would be faaarking nice to win that, but I can buy in exactly once with the way I am currently rolled, so maybe win a seat or something, we'll see, that is for further down the road and when I am better at tournaments. So for now nothing will change, except my underwear.
Goals for July:
Up 7 buy ins @ NL20 18 to -> I can faaarking do this!!!! 
Do hand reviews & Study - and post the faarking hands you lazy shit!!! 
Run like GOD or a similar DEITY - not really important since I can basically channel Burt Reynolds whenever I want 
Catch use on the next episode
PS
It's 5 months maybe a bit more since I started playing poker again, I'm glad that I did 
Goals for July:
Down 5 buy ins @ NL20 23 to -> 
Fuck 
we obviously in this for the lols 
Every time I think I am making progress with my tilt issues I go and prove myself wrong. The first 50 I dropped at the NL50 tables, a reg owned my fucking soul before a fish took a shit on me. And then suck outs and beats and spew and then just a stupid call. I took 300 out of my BR leaving me with 26 buy ins at NL20. NL50 will have to just wait a bit longer.
I don't know what more to say, I mean, ah fuckit
FUCKING PASSIVE NIT CALLING STATIONs SUCK MY BALLZ!!!!:rage:
Down another buy in....
The only thing that won yesterday was the rake. Jeezuz. I raise everyone calls, I miss some cunt min bets and everyone folds and I'm left there staring at his bitch bet while calculating the pot odds of my calling here and hitting top pair or something and then if I hit is my hand any good??? FOR 3 FUCKING HOURS.
I folded so many times. The worst was flopping trips on a wet flop and turning a FH and no one bitch bet. I checked that bitch to the river hoping someone would catch up or bluff or something. FUCKING DO SOMETHING.
I sat out after barrelling top pair good kicker on a wet flop and dry turn and then the flush got there and he half pot
I'M NOT PLAYING POKER TODAY - if I don't play they can't win and I can't loose so I win
Tomorrow is Sunday
Tomorrow is Tournaments
Tomorrow is another chance to do better
Originally posted by jiffybag
Tomorrow is Sunday
Tomorrow is Tournaments
Tomorrow is another chance to do better
Best of luck tomorrow! 
7 buys ins down now -> 3 dayz in a row. I haven't had a loosing streak like this in years. Yes there has been spew and I am trying to get control of my temper, but aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah:rage:
I've got one more tournament later tonight, its a 2k points tournament so it don't cost a thing and I am only going to play that, no cash until after I do a review. I'm even starting to question if I should continue playing cash or go back to SNG and tournaments or what?
Shit man, I need to turn in my Burt Reynolds card as its only been 3 loosing sessions over 3 dayz and already I am bitching.
My biggest leak is my temper, there are some things that I can tighten up pre flop and post flop, but my temper...how do I fix that? It's causing those leaks.
I don't even know where to begin.:facepalm:
Fuck you Gus Hansen
Originally posted by VorpalF2F
Originally posted by jiffybag
Tomorrow is Sunday
Tomorrow is Tournaments
Tomorrow is another chance to do betterBest of luck tomorrow!
Thanks, but my tomorrow just ended, all in 3 way, my A7o vs 84s vs KJo
Originally posted by jiffybag
but my temper...how do I fix that? It's causing those leaks.
I don't even know where to begin.:facepalm:Fuck you Gus Hansen
Hey jiffybag,
I can empathise with you as that was me 8 years ago. The good news is that you have identified tilt as your problem whereas most will continue to claim that poker is rigged against them.
Eight years ago I was an 8-12 hour a day grinder, mixing 45 man SnGs on Stars with 6 max PLO8 SnGs on iPoker. Life was good.I had been crushing the $1.50 45 manners and had the BR to shoot $3.50s. I was making small profit on the $5.50 PLO8 SnGs and was close to having a shot at the $11s.
But then something strange started happening. I started losing the majority of my dominating hands. It seemed like anytime all my chips went into the middle, they were never coming back. I started to get angrier and angrier.
In his books 'The Mental Game of Poker 1 +2', Jared Tendler writes about layers. Everytime you suffer a bad beat or a bad session, you gain a layer of frustration. If you don't deal with this layering, these mental layers will continue to build up until you can't take it any more.
In April 2013, I hit that point. I went to login to Stars one morning and my hand sat on the mouse hovering over the Stars icon, but I could not physically click the button. I had such terrible feeling of dread. How could I not play the game I love? I had no answers.
For the next few months I hung out in the forums, read blogs, asked questions. I was so active that I was invited to become a forum moderator, a position I still hold 8 years later. A common response was to read Jared Tendler's books. Eventually I did. I never finished the book. All my answers were in the first few pages. There is a "Do you do this" section with a list of ten items. I answered all the time to 7 and some of the time to the other 3.
That was my Eureka moment. I had recognised tilt as my problem. I went back over my hand histories and was horrified to find that tilt had blinkered me from seeing how my game had slowly unravelled to the point that I was playing horribly and fully deserved a lot of those losses.
I realised that variance wasn't a tool used by the rooms to manipulate results. It was a natural occurrence that affects all facets of our lives. Once I accepted variance for what it was, I had to go back to scratch and totally rebuild my game from the ground up. I went back over my old material. Re-comitted starting hands to memory.
I was now confident I could open the PokerStars client. Armed with my new found knowledge, and most importantly my total belief and understanding, I moved my mouse to the Stars icon.......... and clicked. There was no feeling of dread, only the old feeling of excitement back. It was now October, so I had to wait for the update to finish, which seemed to take so much longer than usual.
Time for the ultimate test. Regged for a $1.50 STT. Third hand, I got KK, I raised, next guy flatted, BB shoved, I called, next guy folded. I was facing QTo. Flop Qxx, Turn x, come on ....hold, River Q. I was stunned. So stunned that it took a little while to realise that I wasn't angry, only disappointed. After all, you can be disappointed to lose as a big favourite.
After 6 long, dark months, I was finally back playing the game I love.
I never ever became that 8-12 hour a day grinder again, but would love to if I had the time. But I still love poker and play any time I can.
I recommend you read VorpalF2F's epic blog Mind Games from page 1 where he documents his journey through the 'The Mental Game of Poker' by Jared Tendler.
Have fun
Laz
Thanks for taking the time to give such a detailed response. I have the same problem you had, and it looks like I had that problem with me 10 years ago as well and I still have it now.
But then something strange started happening. I started losing the majority of my dominating hands. It seemed like anytime all my chips went into the middle, they were never coming back. I started to get angrier and angrier.
This is exactly what is happening. It's like as soon as it happens I tell myself not to get angry and try and push it out of my mind but it slowly builds.
Everytime you suffer a bad beat or a bad session, you gain a layer of frustration. If you don't deal with this layering, these mental layers will continue to build up until you can't take it any more.
It isn't just loosing with big hands that gets me its also making big folds when the pot is already bloated.
I had to go back to scratch and totally rebuild my game from the ground up. I went back over my old material. Re-comitted starting hands to memory.
I've been thinking about doing this for the last few weeks...
Everyone says read the "Mental Game", I always claim to have read it finish but I only read like the first 2 pages or something and then quit.
You've given me a lot to think about and I am going to skip tonight's grind session and come up with some kinda plan to get my mind in the right place.
Thanks again dude
How are things going?
Can you keep away from the tables, to get your mind on track again?
Originally posted by KoningAlbert
How are things going?
Can you keep away from the tables, to get your mind on track again?
Things are going fine if you count me not playing a single hand of poker in a week and not doing any studying. It's like I am frozen in place, I know what I should do but am afraid to take the first step (and at the same time I don't know what to do).
I've have been thinking about where I should start, but I think I am more putting it off than anything. And at the same time I think that I am wasting time by not taking the first step, does any of this make sense?
How are things going on your side? Hope you not as stuck in the mud as I am.
Originally posted by jiffybag
I've have been thinking about where I should start, but I think I am more putting it off than anything. And at the same time I think that I am wasting time by not taking the first step, does any of this make sense?
Where to start?
Suggestions:
Start at a limit you're comfortable with. If the limit is too low, it is hard to care, too high and you play scared money
Play one table. In the first orbit -- or the first few, try to evaluate the players, and play tighter than normal
Play a short session -- even 50 hands will do. Afterwards, review the hands you played, and the more intriguing hands you didn't play.
Post-flop make a stab at estimating opponent's range on each street, and estimating your equity. Afterwards check to see how you did.
Take notes. This applies always, not just when re-starting after a devastating loss. Notes are a tough when playing too many tables though.
Select 2 or 3 of the hands you played to post in the Hand discussions for No Limit forum.
If that sounds like a lot of work, it is but it's worth it.
Best of luck :gl:,
VS
Sup noobz, I'm not ded yet.
I haven't played much poker besides a SNG and a couple of freerollz. I placed 3rd in last nights donkerment. Since my last post I have been trying to fix my issues with tilt. FUCK ME. My problems are deep dudez. Its why I haven't played much. Its mostly family related. And not easy to fix. I've realised it won't be quick to fix, can I get another FUCK ME please. AND I can't fix these issues solely because I wanna play poker with a clear head. I have to want to do it. And I do, so can I get another FUCK MY ASS please. I am trying, baby steps.
If life is a simulation, then I am living in one that Cameron Crowe made. Fuck that dude.
Sup noobz.
Your hero played pokerz 2 dayz in a row, fucking record for me now. Down a bit, but I had some fun. Played the 1k rebuy yesterday and today. Finished dead last yesterday and may as well be last today. I'm a bit rusty so the results are expected and at the same time, I am me, so I expect to win all flips and always flop the nuts (not just after I fold pre). I didn't start recording my games yet, and I wish I recorded todays, not sure if I should have flatted or if my shove was right. Fucking AKs, never holds when you 4th in chips or maybe it was my gorrilla math I did just before I decided to shove instead of 3bet. My opponent being the cunt that he is ended up with the hand that I expected. What I didn't expected was another cunt jumping in and showing me MY FUCKING OUTS
What can you do except say fuck both of you rebuying bitches and log out. The stupid thing is I got outa the way with my AK a few hands earlier and was kicking myself for not calling when a A came on the flop and then the cunt hit his river and I felt like the uber genius that I am
I'm still feeling a but moist so I may play later again 
Or maybe I'll just fucking study
Later noobz
Fuck yeah I am back on the GRIND
I feel much better, been putting in some study, some small results are starting to show, but I am still making small mistakes, mainly in tournaments. It's round bubble play or close to it, I've made some horrible folds and then immediately regretted them.
There is also something weird happening in my country with regards to online gambling, there has been advertising on TV for casino games, which has been previously banned. Could they finally be legalising it?:thinking: Will I eventually be back on Stars and grinding my way to a SCOOP title? I don't fucking know 
But I really do hope it gets sorted out, I really wanna stream my games. Anyways, I posted a hand against some dickhead trying to take MY MONEY, you know how that's gonna go, or do you
Later noobz
Sup nooblits
Wanted to grind today, but still feeling it from yesterdays super long walk I took. Exercise has been doing good, even thou I picked up some of the damn weight I lost. Reverse exercising... fuckit
Only managed one session yesterday, ended up about about even, played a 1K rebuy (70min rebuy/Addon period FML) got KO'd and then won most of my buy in back playing 20nl. I need to get away from the 1k and 2k tournaments, the rebuys are as ridiculous as the rake, BUT its not a deal breaker for me since I don't have access to Stars, so I am okay with it. Busy with some study as I type this, I've got into the habit of dealing a flop with a old deck of cards I found and then write down all the possible hands that will bet/call/semi bluff the flop. I'm to tired to read Harringtons on Hold Em tonight, reading it slowly no rush, so instead I am going to watch part one of Gareth James Live play Analysis (he's playing some MTTs), that I got from his youtube channel. I've listened to some of his podcast, the old eps at least. I've been watching as much free stuff as I can find on youtube, miss the dayz of the farm when we had accounts to all the major poker schoolz. My favourite series being "The Thin Red Line" by GrindCore. I wonder how relevant that series is nowadayz, I wonder what happened to GrindCore (we got coaching from him for a month, I don't think it helped any of us, but it was cool to watch him grind), I still have a email he sent me about 10 years back giving me some advice on tilt management. I tried to take his advice but tilt issues sometimes lie much deeper than being pissed off with your opponents. Sometimes that is just the fuse that sets off some other shit that you should be dealing with. I'm still trying yo. I wish I could fast forward to the part where everything is fixed, but I guess I would miss out on the journey. And I don't wanna miss anything, FOMO yo. I guess that's what poker is for me, a journey, I don't know where it will take me, if it takes me anywhere, but I'm not at my stop just yet.
I'm fucking rambling, anyways, good luck at the tablez
Later noobz
Hey jiffybag,
This is just to let you know that some complaints have been made about the coarse language in your blog.
You might want to review our forum principles.
This is your blog, and if that is the sort of language you use in everyday life, so be it. Other members are quite welcome to avoid reading your posts.
However, if the idea of a blog is to get readers to engage, then it might be a good idea to tone down the language a bit.
All the best,
VS
