what do you call a man covered in dirt?
Spoiler
phil
what do you call a man with a target on his head?
Spoiler
mark
what do you call a man who is always on a treadmill?
Spoiler
miles
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Originally posted by jonnyjm
Whats brown and long?Spoiler
A stick
...
I know what you where really thinking
way to butcher my favourite joke
the actual joke goes like this
What's brown and sticky?
a stick
Originally posted by bradomurder
Originally posted by jonnyjm
Whats brown and long?Spoiler
A stick
...
I know what you where really thinking
way to butcher my favourite jokethe actual joke goes like this
What's brown and sticky?
a stick
Ma bad! Good job we're in the bad joke thread ♠_biggrin:
What do you get from cattle whose right-side legs are shorter than their left-side legs?
Spoiler
Lean beef
What do you get from cattle with no legs?
Spoiler
ground beef
Whats the difference between a ferrari and 2 dead hookers?
Spoiler
I dont have a ferrari in the garage
I absolutely love these jokes! ♦ ♦ ♦
They are so stupid that they are funny :)))))
Originally posted by rankler88
Whats the difference between a ferrari and 2 dead hookers?Spoiler
I dont have a ferrari in the garage
wp
Where do Floridians wash their clothes?
In Fort Launderdale.
I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he
couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks
are too high."
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog is cross-eyed, is
there anything you can do for him?" "Well," said the vet, "let's have
a look at him". So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he
checks his teeth. Finally, the vet says, "I'm going to have to put
him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy".
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5
people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or
my Dad, or my older Brother Colin, or my younger Brother Ho-Cha-Chu?
But I think its Colin.
Police arrested two kids yesterday; one was drinking battery
acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let
the other one off.
"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving
today." They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking
Fine.' "So that was nice of them."
Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a
small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search
and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that
number to climb as digging continues into the night.
Originally posted by magicadil
Police arrested two kids yesterday; one was drinking battery
acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let
the other one off.
♠_thumbsup:
A polar bear walked into a bar, said to the barman, "can I have .... ...... ...... ..... ...... ..... a beer please?"
the barman said "why the big pause?"
The polar bear said "because I'm a polar bear!"
Originally posted by magicadil
Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a
small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search
and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that
number to climb as digging continues into the night.
Oh really???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Dave.
Dave who?
Spoiler
Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.
How many hands does it take to change a lightbulb?
Many, because many hands make light work
How many ska fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
10, 1 to drop it and the rest to stand round chanting "pick it up, pick it up, pick it up"
One dark night, I sat staring to the east.
I wondered what could be the meaning of the strange glow over the mountains -- a glow that grew brighter and brighter as time went by.
Then it dawned on me.
Originally posted by VorpalF2F
One dark night, I sat staring to the east.
I wondered what could be the meaning of the strange glow over the mountains -- a glow that grew brighter and brighter as time went by.Then it dawned on me.
LMAO
