Mental Coaching (4) - Beliefs and Affirmations
Introduction
In this article you will learn:
- What beliefs are and how they work
- What limiting beliefs are
- How to apply positive affirmations
"Whether you believe you can or you can't, you're probably right." -Henry Ford
In this article, you can read about what beliefs are and what effects they have on your life and your poker game. How can you train your attentiveness for your own beliefs and other people's? Finally, how can you hardwire new, positive beliefs using affirmations?
What beliefs are
Beliefs are convictions about the world and ourselves. In this respect, all statements are beliefs which ascribe some meaning, value or cause/effect.
The earth is flat- The earth is round
- Poker is a game of luck
- Poker is a game of skill
- If a woman tells me she has a boyfriend, then she doesn't want anything from me
- If a woman tells me she has a boyfriend, I don't have a chance
- If a woman tells me she has a boyfriend, then she only wants sex
Whether the above statements are true or not is irrelevant here. Empirically proven facts are also beliefs, as they can be refuted by empirical statements in the future. Social and scientific standards change all the time.
Thus, for a long time, it was fully accepted that the earth was round. For a long time, homosexuality was 'treated' as a psychological defect and/or was punishable.
In general, every generation believes they know it all and that everybody before was a bit stupid. However, our explanatory models remain 'works in progress' and, accordingly, future generations in certain fields will ask themselves: how could our generation be so stupid? Let's compare two possible scenarios:
Scenario 1: In the future, the majority of people will recognise poker as a skill game
In this case, people will ask themselves, what were we thinking to treat poker as a game of luck for so long, despite mathematical evidence and empirical data.
Scenario 2: Poker will be completely forbidden in the future
In this scenario, all the current laws and their execution are seen as too weak for the coming generation and only the first tentative steps in the right direction.
How beliefs work
You'll now be thinking 'OK, it doesn't really matter what sort of strange statements I make. It doesn't change any part of my reality.'
The decisive point is that our perception is greatly affected by our beliefs. This happens as our perception is the only way to experience what we call reality. However, the reality is filtered by our beliefs.
In this respect, two processes will be considered more closely: selective perception and cognotive dissonance.
"Selective perception may refer to any number of cognitive biases in psychology related to the way expectations affect perception." (Wikipedia: Selective perception.)
"Cognitive dissonance is a discomfort caused by holding conflicting cognitions (e.g. ideas, beliefs, values, emotional reactions) simultaneously." (Wikipedia: Cognitive dissonance.)
In order to get rid of these disturbing emotions, there must be a process of dissonance resolution. There are several options here. For example:
- Changing perception so it correlates to the conviction (belief)
- Changing the belief so it corresponds to the perception
- Rationalisation (or excuses), to put the dissonance in perspective (e.g. "had the weather been nicer today, I wouldn't be in such a bad mood and I wouldn't have tilted so quickly.")
It's important to note that the belief triumphs above the perception if it proves itself more resistant to change. If the perception is prominent enough, it can also result in a change in the belief.
Selective perception leads to us only accepting certain information. Cognitive dissonance results when our perception does not tally with our beliefs. If this is the case, the process of dissonance resolution. However, dissonance resolution can result in the belief proving change resistant. In this case the, the perception is seen as an exception or weakened in some other way.
Belief: “Everybody else folds when I get AA.”
Selective perception: with most other combinations you pay less attention to whether everybody folds and with many hands, you'll fold as well. Moreover, the percentage of good hands reduces for your opponents, after all, two out of four aces are missing, which means the probability that your opponents will fold is much higher. In addition, expectations are much higher due to the two aces, so you're more emotionally involved. Thus, there are several indicators in place which ensure this belief is relatively easily confirmed.
Cognitive dissonance: should somebody not have folded after all, this will be because he has a good hand or because he's playing a hand which he should play. This is then quickly given as the reason and the event is quickly forgotten as 'the only exception'. In this case at least, the rationale is in no way irrational, although the belief: "if I get AA, it's more likely everybody will fold," is more appropriate.
Depending on the quantity and quality of the beliefs, this can lead to completely different perceptions of the same situations. Hence the statement: “Whatever the Thinker thinks, the Prover will prove." Strong convictions can have both positive and negative effects on a person.
“Whatever the Thinker thinks, the Prover will prove.” -Robert Anton Wilson (Prometheus Rising)
As our spirit is geared towards confirming existing beliefs and our subconscious is only given a small part of the recorded information, beliefs have a strong influence on the perception of our reality. Accordingly, reality is subconsciously manipulated and re-interpreted. Thus, small successes are suddenly depicted as being larger or smaller.
You may recognise this from your friends: one is often content with his performance, while the other always finds a reason to explain why his success was just luck, or what else was missing. In other situations, we subconsciously influence our counterpart. If, for example, we expect a bad hand, we subconsciously adopt a hostile mindset. If we are then in fact treated well, then it was an exception.
Good beliefs help us to see a choice of several alternatives, whereas less positive beliefs generally limit the number. This is why the term 'limiting beliefs' is often used, as it limits our options.
Limiting beliefs
Many of the beliefs we hold true are practical and useful, probably even the majority. Limiting beliefs are those which restrict your possibilities and development.
Typical examples:
- I can only concentrate on poker for one hour a day
- I have to play poker for at least five hours a day
- I get bored sitting at any less than six tables
- I don't have time to go to the toilet during poker (example: Leatherass pees in a bottle)
- I have to finish in plus every day
- I can't just leave the table when strong players join
The beliefs above significantly limit the selection options. If you believe you can only concentrate on one hour of poker per day, you need to decide if you only play for an hour a day (A game) or if you play for more than an hour a day but with reduced concentration (B/C/D/E game). Clearly, this belief can come with a secondary benefit (see previous article), why you still aren't a winning player or only play a few hands in this way.
The usefulness of beliefs is strongly dependent on the context. So the belief 'women are only interested in my body' can be very practical when you're about to take the next beautiful, doe-eyed blonde back to your poker den.
If, however, you are looking for a monogomous relationship with meaningful conversations about God and the world, then it is less useful. Nonetheless, beliefs are generally independent of the context, as they are triggered by our perception, which is why all-encompassing statements such as the one above should be considered with caution.
How do beliefs manifest themselves?
We repeat some of our beliefs ourselves, daily. Some slumber in the background and we are hardly aware of them. However, they are often recognisable in our behaviour or indirect statements.
Recognising beliefs is simply a question of attention and practice. There are also a lot of beliefs scurrying around where one would least expect them - music is a typical example. We often sing along loudly to our favourite songs, or we hum along, but we always repeat the same beliefs contained in the text lines. Organisations, governments, churches don't just enocourage the repetition of certain texts, prayers and songs as early on as possible for no reason.
In relation to poker, the statement is often repeated: 'poker is hard work'.
If you hold this belief as well as the belief 'work is fun', you'll probably have a lot of fun playing poker. However, if you hold the belief that 'work is hard', then this leads to cognitive dissonance.
This is why it will result in an adjustment reaction. There are more balancing options for this case: poker starts being less fun, you start out describing poker as a hobby, you feel drained after playing poker etc. Then you verbalise these feelings: "I used to enjoy poker more", "I only play for fun", "I'm worn out from playing again today", etc...
There are lots of opportunities to identify your own beliefs, reading old texts (forum posts, mails etc.), listening to yourself, etc. One possibility is to provide spontaneous answers to questions, without thinking about them too much. This takes us to the next exercise.
Even the best strategy is useless without implementation. Hence this little exercise, so you can deal with the topic practically. Ideally, you'll use a pen and pad (but you can use a text editor instead if you like). It's important here that you note the beliefs. Why? Because a different process occurs when you note something down or say it, as opposed to when you just think it. You can also look back over notes at a later date.
Ready?
Then complete the following sentences until you can't think of anything else to write:
- Money is ...
- Money makes ...
- Poker is ...
- Poker makes ...
Now read through your list again. Some sentences may provoke a sheepish grin, a surprise or maybe even confusion. If this is the case, you can make a note of these sentences for yourself.
As an optional bonus task, you can ask the following question of each statement: "Who says that?" This might give you an insight into who diverse beliefs originate from or who perhaps has a subconscious effect on your life.
Affirmations - the practical, scientific part
A particular type of related beliefs are affirmations. These are concerned with clearly formulated and positive beliefs. Positive in this case means without negations such as 'nothing', 'not' or 'unrelated' etc. Scientific research has shown that repitition of affirmations has strong effects on our thoughts and feelings. (Wiseman: Luck Factor: p. 128)
Quite simply by writing yourself a list of affirmations and reading this list out loud every morning (when you wake up) and every evening (before you go to sleep). This may seem a little strange at first, but you'll quickly get used to it and at the same time you'll notice how beliefs run congruent to you and your experience.
Ideally, you'll do this exercise for at least five weeks. Afterwards you can build a new set of affirmations and re-examine the old list again after 10 weeks. You'll quickly see which beliefs you've managed to adopt and which ones aren't so deeply engrained.
The following criteria are key when creating your own affirmations:
- Write the affirmation in the present tense
- Make the affirmation short and to the point
- Make the affirmation a positive statement, without "no", "not" etc.
Here once again is a small selection of negative examples and an alternative:
| Negative example | Positive alternative |
| I won't tilt during a bad beat. | During a bad beat I remain calm and relaxed. |
| Poker isn't work. | I enjoy poker, I look forward to playing. |
- Poker is good for me
- Learning is easy
- Nothing can shake me
- I improve with every hand
- Every mistake is an opportunity to improve
- Poker affords me lots of freedom
- Every bad beat shows me I've been playing correctly
Summary
Beliefs are statements about how the world works. Everybody has their own set of beliefs. These convictions ensure that our perspective changes accordingly. Positive beliefs help us to recognise more opportunities, whereas negative beliefs restrict our options and can lead to self-destructive behaviour.
Recognising your own beliefs and those of others helps you to make a conscious decision about whether you want to keep, adopt or reject these beliefs. Repeating affirmations is a way of actively hard-wiring or strengthening beliefs.
In the next article, we look at motivation and methods you can use to motivate yourself.
About the author: Carsten Bruns is a successful mental coach. He coaches and holds seminars for amateurs and professional poker players. He has himself been a successful mid and high stakes poker player for several years.
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